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Of Ice Cream, and Homogenization

I have an opinion piece on page 17 of the New Jersey section of The New York Times today; It deals with that nefarious chain, Cold Stone Creamery, running an independent Hoboken ice cream shop out of business. The Times doesn't post regional-section content till after the 7-day free window, so I've copied it below.

The New York Times
March 13, 2005 Sunday

Of Ice Cream, and Homogenization

By JACK SILBERT

WALKING through Hoboken recently, I noticed that one of the many vacant storefronts along Washington Street would soon be home to a Cold Stone Creamery, the fast-growing national ice-cream chain.

Good news, no? Business returning to a dormant location seems like a positive economic indicator. And who doesn't love ice cream? But this was not good news. For I knew that there had been another ice-cream shop right across the street. Jordan's was a small, independently run shop with a devoted customer base.

I've chatted with Jordan's owner, Alex Pina. He is the textbook honest man trying to make an honest living. Alex gave up a successful career in marketing with the dream of opening his own business. He took classes, learning to make ice cream. He bought top-quality ingredients. Alex and his wife, Lisa, worked countless hours to build a thriving operation. But Cold Stone effectively put the deep-freeze on those dreams. Alex did the math, and realized Jordan's would lose customers and, eventually, wouldn't be able to remain solvent. So he decided to shut down sooner rather than later. Alex hopes to reopen in another town, but it's too soon to say.

The homogenization of the American Main Street is ancient news by now. We've squeezed every last drop of individuality from our communities, and have welcomed the Great Wall of Wal-Marts. There is the occasional flicker of resistance: In the early 1980's, chain stores were not welcome on Nassau Street in Princeton. Then came the coronation of Burger King, a dark day that wilted the ivy in the esteemed college town. There is no standing in the way of progress or the flame-broiled Whopper.

Did I mention that Jordan's was across the street? Sure, it's practically a cliche for a Starbucks to open within a cold stone's throw of another Starbucks. But knowingly opening a national franchise across from a minuscule local competitor? It just seems sinister.

Ten years ago, there was only one genuine ice-cream shop on Hoboken's main thoroughfare: Hobo's at 636 Washington Street. I should next acknowledge the combination Baskin-Robbins/Dunkin' Donuts (214 Washington). However, I don't want to get on a tangent, questioning the necessity of four Dunkin' Donuts locations in a mile-square city.

Two seasonal walk-up windows opened in the ensuing years: the Ice Hut (201 Washington) and Family Scoops (320 Washington). In the fall of 2003, Jordan's arrived (121 Washington). They all peacefully coexisted. In 2005, however, Washington Street has become a rocky road for these frozen confection retailers. Ben & Jerry's (a division of Unilever) just opened at 405 Washington Street, halfway between Jordan's and Hobo's. And now, Cold Stone is quietly rolling in at 116 Washington.

I can envision the boardroom discussion in Cold Stone's corporate offices: ''What Hoboken needs is another ice-cream shop. Oooh, here's a good spot; it's right across the street from an ice-cream shop. We'll move in the dead of winter and maybe no one will notice.''

So, how does it all relate to Hoboken's economy? The town doesn't quite fit Springsteen's description of ''Main Street's whitewashed windows and vacant stores; seems like there ain't nobody wants to come down here no more.'' Hoboken is actually thriving, with an influx of luxury high-rise construction in the past several years. Hoboken's boomtown status has driven Washington Street storefront rents to exorbitant heights, tripling in many cases.

Some retailers have been forced to relocate far off the main drag (like the quirky gift shop Hand Made, which long resided at Cold Stone's new home). Others have simply folded. In their places come the inevitable chain stores, often the only ones that can afford the rent. I've only been in a Cold Stone Creamery once. I'd heard it was ''very entertaining,'' whatever that means. But everything was so expensive, I left without buying anything. Since then, talking with friends in different cities, different states, I've learned of the nearly viral spread of the Cold Stone brand.

Where does it end? With Cold Stone as the victor in a post-apocalyptic Ice-Cream War, shops on every corner? The eerie silence pierced by the haunting melody of mercenary Mister Softee trucks, scavenging the streets for undead soft-serve customers? Perhaps I exaggerate. But come on, fellas, there was another ice-cream shop right across the street.

That's just cold, Cold Stone. Stone cold.