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Pocket Judge

My friend Becky (and her friend Jeff) put together this nifty eBay auction:

Are you tired of "activist judges" so enamored of bothersome issues like environmental protection, civil rights and a crazy little thing called justice? Corporations and lobbyists have judges in their back pockets, and now, you can, too!

Introducing...  Pocket Judge(TM)! Stick one in your hip pocket and it'll be hip to YOUR special interests.