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The Fruit That Ate Itself
During "snack time" on a recent overseas flight, we were befuddled to receive a small package of "orange-flavored" craisins. Now, we have no problem with giving a cute (if a tad misleading) name to dried cranberries. But throwing in orange flavoring? We figured most people, when hungry for the taste of an orange, would simply eat an orange, not seek it out in craisin form. Evidently, the good people at Ocean Spray disagree. Could this be the first step in the development of a "mega-fruit" that dwarfs Mother Nature's offerings? What's next, banana-flavored apples? Pumquats, now with three times the pineapple?
Philosophically, this is even more troubling. Think about it too much and your brain melts. We'll just stick with red meat and deep-fried Twinkies from now on.
Posted by Reed Jackson on 05/25/2005 | Permalink
Comments
Well, most "blueberries" in pancakes and the like are blueberry-flavored apple bits
Posted by: Beth | May 25, 2005 6:35:38 PM
Beth, that is so depressing I am going to cry. Seriously.
Posted by: Charles | May 25, 2005 11:56:04 PM
Given that some folks are now marketing grape-flavored apples, banana-flavored ones might not be too far off.
http://tinyurl.com/6ny9o
Posted by: Fred | May 26, 2005 4:40:56 AM
Oh sweet lord. You people are sending me into a despair spiral.
Posted by: Reed Jackson | May 26, 2005 10:06:20 AM
a coupla yrs ago i was drawing simple illustrations of fruits, to entertain my (then) 4 yo neice. after 2 or 3 of em, i asked her to suggest a fruit. she: "can you draw a fruit roll-up?". me & parents cracked up.
take care, herb
Posted by: herb | May 26, 2005 10:35:47 AM
Herb, that makes me want to commission a piece: "Still life with Lifesavers."
And wait until the gene techs get involved. Plumquats are just the beginning. Banoranges, chapples, figlimes. Fruit bins will look like a collection of mutant gumballs.
Posted by: csp | May 26, 2005 12:12:19 PM
Out in L.A., we already have Grapples, or grape-flavored apples. I secretly desire the, but they're way too expensive.
Posted by: josephleon75 | May 26, 2005 7:17:12 PM
Here's my Grapple review http://chittahchattah.blogspot.com/2005/03/grapple-grape-infused-apples.html
Posted by: Steve Portigal | May 27, 2005 1:45:10 AM
While I understand why you're troubled by the concept in general, I don't find orange flavored craisons particularly objectionable. The fresh cranberry sauce I make every Thanksgiving has orange juice in it; adding a taste of orange to dried cranberries doesn't seem a whole lot different to me.
Posted by: Jon | May 27, 2005 12:58:20 PM
"It was hangin' out alone out on the shelf, well, well, well, well, well, well, well."
Good call on your headline; what a terrifying concept for a product.
Posted by: CMR | Jun 3, 2005 3:21:01 AM
Know what they should have given you? A Hot n' Spicy McChicken sandwich. Made with hydrogenated oils, msg, aluminum compounds, artificial color...
Or maybe just cranberries, sugar, "natural flavors", and elderberry juice...
Nobody is violently allergic to cranberries (peanuts, salt... orange)
Posted by: john | Aug 9, 2005 1:47:56 AM
