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I put off blogging this for a very long time.
Why did I wait so long to blog this? The event you're scant sentences from reading about happened months ago-- yet some lingering vestiges of propriety, modesty, decorum, and, yes, perhaps shame, have caused me to keep this a secret. But no more.
Gentle webbrowsers and assorted timewasters, I would like to present to you The Little Twisted Tissue and Earwax Man What Was Birthed Unintentionally Out of My Ear. Sometimes I call him Mr.Waxman.
His birth was as follows: feeling that my ears could use a bit of maintenance, and, lacking a Q-Tip or anything sufficently swablike, I DIY'd myself a bit of twisted tissue and plunged it into my ear canal. After some satisfying rooting around, I withdrew it and (of course) looked at it.
Normally, I look at things I pull out of my ear for satisfyingly large amounts of earwax, which I then use as kindling to stoke my already out-of-control ego. This time, I was met with a small, cheerful face looking back at me.
I was stunned. The strikingly facial arrangement of earwax clods happened entirely by chance-- I swear I did no arrangement or manipulation whatsoever. I am ashamed to admit I spoke to it, just to see.
Today my progeny lives stuck in the join of a men's room stall bracket and the tile wall-- and he looks just as anthropomorphic as the day I extracted him from my ear.
So, people of the internet, I ask you now to make this new comrade feel at home. I can't help but feel we should expect great things.
UPDATE: The response has made me see how selfish I am to keep Mr.Waxman to myself. He's now for sale on eBay.
Posted by Jason Torchinsky on 06/20/2005 | Permalink
Comments
You know... I think it kind of looks like the virgin mary.
Posted by: andy m | Jun 20, 2005 10:34:02 PM
She doesn't look too virgin to me...lol
Posted by: Streyeder | Jun 20, 2005 10:52:25 PM
Aye dios mio Es looks like Virgin Mary
JESUS CRISTO!!!
Posted by: Juan David | Jun 20, 2005 10:52:26 PM
Quickly, post it on EBAY!!!
Posted by: tian | Jun 20, 2005 10:59:22 PM
wow, your site kept me from posting the most applicable comment in the world which was simply going to be one word: GoldenPalaceDOTcom
Posted by: merkley??? | Jun 20, 2005 11:03:57 PM
Oooh, oooh, eBay it! I bid $1,050.49.
Posted by: eD | Jun 20, 2005 11:08:24 PM
I think he'd be great for a starring role in... something. A game or a comic book maybe?
Posted by: Paul Donnelly | Jun 20, 2005 11:35:52 PM
If he's abandoned in the men's room and *still smiling*, I'd say he feels quite alright, and doesn't really need much as far as house-warming or cheering up.
Posted by: itomato | Jun 20, 2005 11:52:42 PM
Looks like the Mean Ghost from Casper
Posted by: Madvoodo | Jun 20, 2005 11:56:21 PM
try googling the safety of putting stuff like q-tips or rolled up napkins in your ears.
Posted by: Drew | Jun 21, 2005 12:00:21 AM
*retch*, *gag*
Posted by: justin | Jun 21, 2005 12:09:42 AM
Those who see the Virgin Mary or Jesus are not far off base, but cooler heads will agree that this is obviously a manifestation of the famous dancer Isadora Duncan! Her smiling face (I must take your word for the smile, since it's hard to make out in the picture) shows that in the afterlife she has transcended the trauma of her martyrdom, which occurred when her scarf got caught in the wheel of her friend's Bugatti.
Posted by: kirwar4face | Jun 21, 2005 12:27:53 AM
Yesterday I took a giant shit and it looked like a happy face, but I didn't take a picture of it and put it on the Internet.
Posted by: Fred Johnson | Jun 21, 2005 9:57:19 AM
You should condider embedding the sculpture in transparent resin, to guarantee its preservation.
Posted by: atomico | Jun 21, 2005 10:50:30 AM
I'll bet there isn't a minute that goes by that you don't regret that shortsighted decision, Fred.
Posted by: Charles | Jun 21, 2005 10:53:21 AM
It looks like the left half of a classic Pooh bear. It even has a scarf.
Posted by: Justin Koh | Jun 21, 2005 11:00:22 AM
there are no accidents
Posted by: admiral dewy | Jun 21, 2005 11:07:43 AM
Nah, looks like a Star Wars character. A mix of those sand creatures and the trumpet player from the Mos Eisley Cantina house band.
Posted by: Spanker | Jun 21, 2005 11:32:10 AM
That was my intial thought also, Star Wars character. Looks more realistic than most of the cgi characters too!
Posted by: Dan | Jun 21, 2005 12:16:33 PM
What does selling your earwax on ebay have to do with the ideas of Stayfree?
Can you to explain, Carrie, how you let this get on here?
I expect this crap out of boingboing, but I (used) to expect better from you.
You really destroy your cred when you cover issues like this.
and the really sad part is how many responses this has recieved compared to the "serious" posts...
Posted by: jnnx | Jun 21, 2005 12:29:54 PM
I just wanted to clear Carrie's name from all this. Carrie's cred is just fine. MY cred is at stake here, but, thankfully, it really doesn't have very far to fall.
So don't blame Carrie for this. Blame me, Jason, the drooling simpleton.
And it probably wouldn't kill you to lighten up, I'm guessing.
Posted by: Jason Torchinsky | Jun 21, 2005 12:47:03 PM
You should introduce him to Gumby.
Posted by: Kace | Jun 21, 2005 1:52:01 PM
Mr. Smileywax needs a girlfriend!
Posted by: alrad | Jun 21, 2005 4:19:47 PM
did you sniff him
Posted by: knocks | Jun 21, 2005 9:35:31 PM
Human face is, by the way, the most easily recognizable pattern for us. Not to say it doesn't look like one - because it does, but just that we humans have tendency to see faces (and human figures) in pretty much any random object. ;)
Posted by: JussiR | Jun 22, 2005 5:47:35 AM
Sid the sloth from "Ice Age" - that's what it looks like!
Posted by: Greg | Jun 23, 2005 2:12:43 AM
I'm not so sure Carrie's cred is really on any kind of stable ground since the Burger and Fries experiment. :)
When did Stay Free get so gross?
Posted by: andy | Jun 23, 2005 5:36:32 PM
The rolled up paper in the ear is a tad Ogre-like. I prefer to clean my ears with a hunk of charred and smoldering duck entrails.
I always hated that ghost from Casper the Friendly Ghost. It seemed to me that he actually enjoyed teasing Casper.
Also I know that the waxman is 100% a sign that the apocalypse is at hand. Or maybe a coincidence. Or both?!
Posted by: krankiboy | Aug 1, 2005 1:48:02 PM
r u f-ing serious???????? really??? R U???
Posted by: timewaister | Aug 8, 2007 5:51:16 PM
I believe it looks like Darwin.
Posted by: Via | Sep 23, 2008 12:09:30 AM
