Got a blog tip? Contact us

« June 2005 | Main | August 2005 »

Why I love my little black burka (CORRECTED)

 While in Barcelona, I saw an exhibit that included work by Iranian photographer Shadi Ghadirian. I couldn't find images of the particular pieces online but the subject was more interesting that the execution anyway: Ghadirian discussed how the Iranian government will censor magazines from the US and Europe by physically blacking things out -- particularly, models' skin.

In women's magazines, for example, the government will black out any place where a woman's body is visible. Kind of ambitious, huh?

CORRECTION: The Marie Claire image found here is not in fact an example of censorship but rather a Photoshopped piece by Farhad Moshiri, originally published in Bidoun magazine (Winter 2005). Moshiri's work does, however, include some actual examples of censored magazines, which you can see here.

Baby already in danger

I spotted this car parked on Baltic Street near 5th Avenue. I have to ask: If you care so much about the kids, why have you obstructed half of your rear windshield?

The psychopaths in the room

That study about brain-damaged investors reminds me a recent Fast Company cover story, Is Your Boss a Psychopath? I suppose it's hardly news that emotionally stunted people make some of the best business decisions, but it's nice to see one's suspicions given the halo of science.

The Fast Company article points to Enron by way of example but I thought it interesting that it focuses on CFO Andrew Fastow and says nothing about CEO Jeffrey Skilling. Pretty much all I know about Enron's higher-ups I got from the documentary The Smartest Guys in the Room, so maybe I'm missing something here, but Skilling strikes me as a textbook psychopath. At any rate, the film portrays him in studied contrast to Enron's other CEO, Kenneth Lay. Whereas Lay sweats and shakes while lying, Skilling not only sells his bullshit with heart but jokes about it. He's one scary mofo.

Earn More In One Easy Lesion

More catching up on the news from my vacation brings me to an article from last Thursday's Wall Street Journal. It appears that having a bit of brain damage can make you a better investor.

The benefit appears to be the result of a lesion in the region of the brain that makes a person less sensitive to risk. I figured that would be the case (well, not the lesion part), since risk insensitivity and a willingness to capitalize on the risk aversion of others is a hallmark of the best poker players, who I doubt would appreciate the implication that they are brain damaged.

Regardless, the study should be taken with a heaping helping of salt. Deep in the story the author buried the fact that the "winning" players in the game were not nearly as successful in managing their finances in real life - three of the four brain damaged players had been through a bankruptcy.

Please Put Cellphones on Vibrate During Naptime

Disney has announced they are teaming up with Sprint to market cell phones for 8-12 year old children.  Models will be simple and have only 5 buttons, so the kids can't text message...

New cell phones are extra-small to fit children's hands, with "mommy" and "daddy" buttons for one-touch dialing. They come in colors called X-Ray and Bubblegum. Still others are set to feature animated characters on the display screen and have educational software built right in.

Future models will include a tracking device, so parents can low-jack their delinquents. Creepy you say?  Once we get used to 8 year olds carrying cell phones, what will come next?

Commercial Alert has a more critical vision than Disney and a campaign to get Congress to investigate and hold hearings on the impact of mobile phones on children's privacy, education, safety and health. (I'm not sure, but you may be able to send the letter to your congressman from your cell phone's web browser.)

Cell phones are enough of a distraction in high schools - ringing in class, kids sneaking calls in the back, text messaging under the desks.  When I was a teacher, I took one phone from a student that rang nearly every 5 minutes while I had it.  Another one I confiscated was a picture phone.  (Of course I looked at the pictures and I'll just say I wish I hadn't). 

But grade school and middle school?  Here's a scene. Jenni stands on the sidewalk outside of the elementary school behind Pluto sunglasses. "Mom, third grade has been over for like 5 whole minutes.  Where are you?"  Later, on the ride home, Mom has the DVD of the Lion King playing in the headrests of the Chrysler Town & Country DE (Disneyland Edition) while little Jenni talks to Megan on her Minnie Mouse Fun-Fone about recess and trading lunches tomorrow. Eeek.

Google Apps

Have you ever been frustrated because you couldn't figure out the exact intersection of a subway station? onNYturf has hacked Google Maps with an overlay of the New York City Subway system.

It can be a little slow to load, but it is a great idea. Take a look.

(via Daily Heights)

Calling All Gnomes

Despite the mass of accumulated evidence that drinking alcohol does, in fact, make people more attractive, Britain's Advertising Standards Authority has recently issued an edict that alcohol companies have to stop using hot models in their ads:

Drinks companies have been ordered to hire uglier men for their advertisements in Britain, to avoid suggesting there is a link between boozing and sexual success.

Men who star in alcohol ads that target women should be "balding" and "paunchy" rather than "attractive and desirable", according to guidance issued by the Advertising Standards Authority.

It is a stupid rule to begin with, but it gets much stupider when you read the rest of their logic when analyzing a specific ad in which an attractive guy is surrounded by women:

"In its current form we consider that the ad is in danger of implying that the drink may bring sexual/social success, because the man in question looks quite attractive and desirable to the girls. If the man was clearly unattractive, we think that this implication would be removed from the ad."

So ... because the man is attractive, they are worried that the alcohol will get too much credit, but if he were really ugly people would assume that he was a scintillating conversationalist?

Anyway, I have to get to England immediately. This could be my big break.

Hit the bricks, kid

I'm flying to Chapel Hill labor day weekend for a wedding. I didn't want to inconvenience anyone, so I figured I'd take the bus.... but after going to the online route planner (pictured at right), I think I am going to ask for a lift.

Real Beauty?

You might have noticed those new Dove ads, the ones featuring six ordinary women (i.e., not super skinny professional models) in white bras and panties. Salon examines the ads in "'Real Beauty'" -- Or Really Smart Marketing?, questioning the sincerity of Dove's Campaign for Real Beauty when the product the company is pushing happens to be cellulite firming cream.

I'd also add that despite the ad copy about "real beauty" coming " in many shapes, sizes and ages," the women in the ad look fairly homogenous. Their heights are within a few inches of each other, they have similar body types (curvy but not overweight) and all seem to be in their 20s or 30s. I realize most companies probably don't want an unattractive person associated with their product. But I wish Dove wouldn't couch their advertising in this touchy-feely sense of inclusion or female empowerment, not when they're just going to show us more images of attractive young women.

For more from Stay Free! on Dove's advertising, see George Jetson Gets A Present From Dove.

New from Stay Free! magazine

Home Movie Day is just around the corner -- August 13 -- so I thought I'd post the interview we did with the founders last year (from Stay Free! #23):

Reel People
Chances are those old Laurel & Hardy prints sitting in your basement aren't nearly as valuable as your mom's home movies. The founders of Home Movie Day talk about amateur films and what they can teach us.

What's Home Movie Day, you ask? Well, on August 13, theaters across the country will welcome locals to come and screen their films of family members beating the dog, witnessing cousin Ralphie's bar mitzvah disaster, etc. Here in New York, the magic happens at Anthology Film Archives. Check here to see who's organizing things in other cities, or contact the founders about hosting screenings in your town.

U.S. Psychiatrists Urge: Use Us More

In the old days, when people complained that kids were all crazy, it was because they hated their music, resented their freedom, or wanted them off of their lawns. Nowadays, adolescence is a medical diagnosis.

According to the authors of Treating and Preventing Adolescent Mental Health Disorders, one in five adolescents suffer from a mental health disorder. Does anyone else get the feeling that many of these are the types of "disorders" that kids just grow out of?

Modern hysteria

Back in Stay Free! #21, I interviewed Edward Shorter about his history of psychosomatic illness, which discusses how psychosomatic symptoms are always evolving with the times. Once-common problems such as paralysis and temporary blindness, for example, have given way to headaches, backaches, and chronic fatigue.

What I didn't realize at the time is that even today doctors encounter patients who are wheelchair-bound or otherwise paralyzed, without any identifiable physical cause. In this transcript of the Australian radio program All in the Mind, Allan House discusses these modern cases of "hysteria" and how to treat them.

(Via Mindhacks)

Wal-Mart pitches Brooklyn

The Brooklyn Papers reports:

National discount retailer Wal-Mart is so interested in opening a store in New York City, and specifically Brooklyn, they’re willing to change their big-box-store image, executives said at a June 30 meeting with Brooklyn reporters.

"Willing" to change their image? I wonder what they'll sacrifice: the labor-abusing community killing? The sex discrimination? Or the craven profiteering?

Sources say Wal-Mart officials are willing to make concessions on the sex descrimination and evidence tampering but are vigorously defending the right to commit labor violations and to gut local businesses.

Fortunately, many local groups are organizing against Wal-Mart. Check out Wal-Mart Free NYC, Brooklyn's Wal-Mart No Way, and the Neighborhood Retail Alliance, for example. For the latest news on Wal-Mart's misdeeds, I find Wake-up Wal-Mart and New York-based The Boxtank the most helpful.

But step one is to simply call 311 and tell Mayor Bloomberg's people that you oppose Wal-Mart in New York. It takes a few seconds. Painless!

Thoughts on Freakonomics

Freakonomics, the best-seller by economist Steven Levitt and his wordsmith, Stephen Dubner, has been getting a lot of attention and I can see why: Levitt is a creative thinker whose practical concerns extend beyond the question of how to make money. An economist that isn't deathly boring? Yes, yes, sign me up. (Most of the work in this scattered collection is quantitive social science generally rather than economics in particular, but still...)

Yet something about this breezy read, with its interesting anecdotes and surprising conclusions, made me suspicious. Perhaps it stems from this statement in the introduction:

Morality, it could be argued, represents the way that people would like the world to work -- whereas economics represents how it actually DOES work. Economics is the science of measurement.

Okay. If economics is a science, I am a walrus. Without getting bogged down in an old debate about "hard" science v. "soft (social) sciences" (a question of whether measuring the interplay of chemicals is equivalent to measuring human behavior) let me just say up front that I'm of the Neil Postman school, which holds that social scientists are "scientists" in quotes. Like cultural critics, historians, and journalists, they are essentially story tellers. The use of numbers and quantifiable data can add greatly to human knowledge but attempts at empiricism shouldn't be categorically privileged over other means of truth-telling (in matters of human behavior, that is). In other words, counting and data collecting can be as misleading as the expert opinions Dubner and Levitt purport to debunk.

One need look no further than Levitt's widely reported studies on the impact of legalizing abortion for evidence of just how fuzzy social "science" can be. Levitt provides compelling evidence that Roe v. Wade, by preventing unwanted pregnancies, is largely responsible for the drop in crime throughout the US in the 1990s. But the authors fail to acknowledge -- or even mention -- that a large body of evidence contradicts their thesis.

Though violent crime over all dropped in the 1990s, it actually increased among teenagers -- the group that would have been affected by Roe v. Wade -- and especially black teenagers. (African Americans are three-times more likely than Anglos to have abortions.) And even the assumption that Roe cut the number of unwanted births is debatable; illegitimate births maintained a steady climb after Roe, for example.

For a thorough and well-written examination of the abortion argument, see Did Legalizing Abortion Cut Crime by Steve Sailer (a professor of economics at the University of Chicago and a conservative).   The point isn't that legalizing abortion did or did not cut crime, but rather that Freakonomics grossly oversimplifies complex social matters... and in a deceptive, Gladwellian kind of way.

Another example: in chapter 4, the authors argue that the education, class-status, and age of birth parents largely determines how well their children do in school and that particular parental behaviors are more or less irrelevant. "It isn't so much a matter of what you do as a parent," the authors write, "it's who you are."

I'm sure there's a good deal of truth to this, but Levitt and Dubner gloss over the fact that demographic data such as class and income level are much easier to measure than behavior. To quantify parent habits, they relied on surveys, on self-reported data. It's widely understood in the ad industry that people don't respond accurately or honestly to queries about personal matters, so why take these surveys at face value? If you ask a parent whether they spank their children, take them to museums, or read to them ever day, what do you think they're going to say? (Dubner and Levitt acknowledge the unreliability of survey data with the spanking question, but not the others.)

So while it may very well may be that birth parent demographics are primary predictors of student success, you can't so easily write off parent behavior. Just because you can't reliably measure something doesn't make it irrelevant.

Dubner and Levitt conclude the book by predicting it will encourage readers to ask questions of self-appointed experts and others touting some party line. Hopefully those questions will begin by examining some of the authors' own arguments.

RELATED: For more commentary on Freakonomics, see My New Cuddly Pet is a Smith & Wesson

Picture of a Disaster

As soon as I got back from vacation, my brother told me he saved me a copy of the July 19 Metro because it had a hilarious picture of the aftermath of Hurricane Emily pounding Cancun. If that sounds like a particularly heartless sentence to you, you couldn't be more right, and yet ... he couldn't have been more right either.

Is this really the picture they should have run? Couldn't they just let the guy finish first?

Leslie Savan on pop language

I just got back from vacation and so now I must decide whether to unpack, clean up, or blog. I know you people would probably say "blog" but that's only because you haven't seen my apartment.

Anyway, over the next few days I'll share some of my more memorable vacation readings with you. Speaking of...  My friend (and hero) Leslie Savan had an great essay in the New York Times Magazine last week. "Grabbing a catch phrase for a slam-dunk" hits upon the themes in Leslie's upcoming book about pop language, Slam Dunks and No-Brainers (Knopf, October 2005), which I'll have plenty to say about later.

We have all heard, and at times we all speak in, pop phrases: Hel-lo? Duh. Step up to the plate. Think outside the box. LOL. You da man! Pop phrases are not just popular phrases or clichés - they shine with an extra glamour. They are words that pop out of their surrounding, and that, if inflected properly, step into the spotlight as verbal celebrities, the stars of our sentences...

Sunday Movie Nights, Red Hook

Attention Brooklynites with a penchant for 16mm film: On Sunday nights at about 8 p.m. in the back garden of the Old Pioneer Bar (318 Van Brunt St., Red Hook), "Movie Mike" shows classic movies from his vast personal collection. Tonight is Wall Street Cowboy (1939) with Roy Rogers. Coming soon: Torpedo of Doom (1938) on July 31, Dirty Gertie from Harlem (1946) on August 7, and the Flash Gordon epic Mars Attacks the World (1939) on August 14. Mike asks for a $5 admission but he throws in a cartoon and a Dick Tracy serial chapter. It's a pretty good time. Almost as good as me using italics in a post for the first time.

McDonald's owns your name

According to Tuesday's Guardian (Tuesday's? I´m on vacation; sue me), McDonald's has interceded in an Australian trademark action to keep a local rugby team sponsor from getting a trademark on his own nickname. (Scroll down to the third item.)

Malcolm McBratney - who goes by McBrat - applied for a trademark for his nickname to sell clothing to other fans of Brisbane Irish. McDonald's filed an objection to the trademark application, asserting that "McBrat" is too close to its "McKids" trademark - even though McDonald's uses the trademark exclusively for toys, not clothes. It appears that Mickey D´s has chosen the wrong person to fuck with: McBratney is a trademark lawyer - and he is fighting back by taking action to strip McDonald's of the McKids trademark for abandoning the mark.

Let's hear it for the Aussies: The team continues to sell clothes with the McBrat mark. The town is rallying behind McBrat and the Irish; businesses and people are adding Mc to their names in protest of McDonald's heavyhanded IP practice. And Queensland Premier Peter Beattie spent a day as The Honourable Peter McBeattie in solidarity with the team.

Charles McStar, reporting from Barcelona.

The unlikely battle over "Freedom of Expression"

Remember trademark hoarder man? You know, Leo Stoller, the guy Charles wrote about earlier, the one who essentially claims to own all usages of the word "stealth," along with a number of other common expressions? Stoller, you may recall, makes his living by sending frivolous cease-and-desist notices to companies, who pay him off -- despite their legal rights -- because it's cheaper to settle than fight.

Since one of the phrases Stoller claims to own is "freedom of expression," Charles contacted our man Kembrew McLeod, who trademarked that phrase a few years ago. Kembrew, in turn, contacted the owners of freedomofexpression.org, freedom-of-expression.com, and freedom-of-expression.org, and together they formed the Freedom of Expression® Security Consortium. The group is now giving Stoller a taste of his own medicine and are demanding that he cease and desist from using the phrase.

We'll let you know how Stoller responds. Mean time, you can read the Consortium's letter below the fold.

Updated letter 7/22/05 (earlier version was only a draft)

Leo Stoller
Rentamark.com
P O Box 35189
Chicago, IL 60707-0189

Re: Freedom of Expression

July 22, 2005

Dear Mr. Stoller,

Please be advised that we are stakeholders in the Freedom of
Expression® Security Consortium (FESC), which, as our motto states,
“regulates freedom in the marketplace of ideas.” We are writing in
response to your infringing use of FREEDOM OF EXPRESSION, a federally
registered trademark that is controlled by FESC member Kembrew McLeod,
who owns the domain http://freedomofexpression.us. This mark, granted
by the USPTO on January 6, 1998, is also used as the title of Dr.
McLeod’s book, published in 2005 by Doubleday/Random House.

In the July 4, 2005 New York Timesarticle about your business, “He Says
He Owns the Word ‘Stealth,’” you said, “If a trademark owner doesn’t go
up to the plate each day and police his mark, he will be overrun by
third-party infringers.” Also, as you state on Rentamark.com, “There is
no free well-known intellectual property left in the 21st Century. No
free rides!” As a group that monitors unauthorized uses of FREEDOM OF
EXPRESSION, we couldn’t agree more.

In the course of policing FREEDOM OF EXPRESSION, we at FESC (consisting
of the websites freedomofexpression.us, freedomofexpression.org,
freedom-of-expression.org, and freedom-of-expression.com) have learned
of your infringement, which can be found at this URL:
http://www.rentamark.com/e-marks/E-I/e-i.html.

We are troubled by (1) your unrestrained use of FREEDOM OF EXPRESSION
and (2) the fact that you have offered to license this phrase to third
parties without permission. After all, not just anybody can utilize
FREEDOM OF EXPRESSION, and it is clear that your use of this phrase
constitutes unfair competition and a blurring and tarnishing of this
federally registered mark.

FREEDOM OF EXPRESSION will be substantially and irreparably damaged
should this infringement continue. We, therefore, demand that
Rentamark.com immediately cease and desist using FREEDOM OF EXPRESSION
within five days. We eagerly await your response.

Very truly yours,

Kembrew McLeod
http://freedomofexpression.us/
Freedom of Expression® Security Consortium
1037 E. Washington St.
Iowa City, IA 52240
kembrew@freedomofexpression.us

cc:
John Joseph Bachir http://freedomofexpression.org/
Fletcher Moore http://freedom-of-expression.com/
Julie Gilbe http://freedom-of-expression.org/

Video game economies

I know next to nothing about video games but these articles about multi-player online role-playing games (MMORPG) made for great inflight reading:

Article #1 reports on hi-tech sweatshops that employ the Chinese poor to play video games for cents per hour... though, as the article explains, "play" isn´t really the word because the character-development work involved is mind-numbingly repetitive. This kind of work is called "farming," but perhaps the only thing it shares with rural labor is the lousy pay.

And for background, this article from Walrus Magazine is a great introduction to gaming´s virtual economies. (If you´re as clueless about gaming as I am, read this one first.)

(Via Metafilter)

Empty Sentiment

Further evidence of the magnetic ribbon backlash, a Boston artist, Deirdre Doyle, has created "Empty Sentiment" ribbons. There is a short interview with her in the Boston Phoenix. A nice touch, Doyle's ribbons aren't for sale. They're free on her site.

Thanks to Ian at factesque for the tip.

Save your Television

As I'm sure most of you frightfully well-informed readers know, broadcast analog television is supposed to end, oh, 2009, I think. It was 2006, but a stay of execution has been granted. But, it's coming. This is being done because the world is going digital, and these new HDTV digital feeds are replacing the broadcasts of the old, fuzzy analog signals. What this means for millions and millions of people (my own cheap ass included) is that our old crapbox TVs will suddenly stop being able to receive free, analog signals and programming.

On one level, you might see this as a blessing, akin to the closing of an open sewer behind your house. But, even though 90% of TV is abject crap, it's still an incredible machine, and, I think, has lots of potential. And this new ruling, this killing of the old analog TV, seems like a great opportunity.

So in 2009 all of a sudden there will be about 20 million ¨obsolete¨machines in the US capable of receiving full-screen, full motion audio and video, far better and easier than anything that big stupid Internet does. Wirelessly, too. And (so far) no major companies will be interested in using them. Though lots of the broadcast spectrum is currently being auctioned off, there are still some interesting opportunities. Like local, indepedent TV stations. Stations with a broadcast range of just, say, Brooklyn or Silverlake or some other neighborhood-sized community -- or the broadcast TV equivalent of zines in the early 90s.

How would this be done? I'm not certain yet, but I'd bet it's possible to handle many of the broadcast TV functions in a very stripped-down way via some clever interfacing of modern PCs and perhaps some modification of existing radio-frequency generators, as in all that Bluetooth and 802.11 stuff. Or hell, maybe lots of cheap old broadcasting equipment will show up on eBay. Some geek'll figure something out.

20 million recieving sets all over the place just seems to big to ignore; I can't imagine people are going to just chuck all their old TVs in the trash at once -- they've got at least a few years of closet-sitting to do, I'd bet.

Anyway, I'd be curious to hear what others think of this possibility. Especially the many, many others smarter than me.

Cheers for Costco, Jeers for Honda

Here are two quotes of interest from today's New York Times. There were others, but you're going to have to learn to read the paper for yourself.

First up is a statement by Bill Dreher, an analyst at Deutsche Bank, quoted in "How Costco Became the Anti-Wal-Mart." The article draws a distinction between Wal-Mart's notoriously stingy attitude toward employees and Costco's comparatively generous compensation/benefits package.

"Costco's average pay, for example, is $17 an hour, 42 percent higher than its fiercest rival, Sam's Club. And Costco's health plan makes those at many other retailers look Scroogish. One analyst, Bill Dreher of Deutsche Bank, complained last year that at Costco 'it's better to be an employee or a customer than a shareholder.'"

Now, Mr. Dreher is a Deutsche Bank analyst. His only concern is what Costco's stock is going to do, not how society benefits from companies providing a living wage and health insurance. And we have no reason to believe that Mr. Dreher is opposed to either a living wage or health benefits on principle. But, all that being true, the article says Mr. Dreher "complained." Complained? Kinda makes Bill sound like an asshole, doesn't it?

Second, we have a quote from Honda Accord Hybrid owner Mark Buford in "Hybrid Cars Burning Gas in the Drive for Power." Not following the car world as closely as I should, I learned from this article that Honda's Accord Hybrid doesn't use significantly less fuel than its conventional Accord. Instead, the hybrid components increase the car's performance. So rather than being a more environmentally-friendly car, the Accord Hybrid is just a... very nice car. And Mr. Buford says:

"I wasn't prepared to give up anything to 'go green' -- not performance, amenities, or space."

Given that the typical hybrid car -- Honda Accord included -- costs such a premium that you'll probably never make up the extra cost in gas savings, a buyer has every right to expect reasonable performance, amenities and space. But Mark wasn't "prepared to give up anything"? Anything? Kind of makes Mark sound like an asshole, doesn't it?

The Great Pizza Cup Mystery

For anyone out there with knowledge of how paper-cup distribution works, I beg you for enlightenment. For years and years, I've noticed that New York-area pizza places almost never print up their own cups. Rather, the cups are from random, far-flung establishments. Case in point: At a Hoboken, NJ, pizza place, I recently received my beverage in a cup from PNC Park, home of baseball's Pittsburgh Pirates. That's 314 miles as the crow files. But crows are not delivering these cups. Who is? Is this a nationwide phenomenom? A worldwide conspiracy? Somebody, please, clue me in.

Sly foxes

Note to culture jammers: you have been assimilated. Fox and Chevrolet teamed up to fake a guerrila marketing campaign for some Chevy thing that I don't feel like learning more about.

I didn't watch the All-Star game this year because I just had a feeling that Jason Bay, the only player I really care about, on the bench. If I had, I would have seen the latest form of marketing: self-sabotage advertising. During the game broadcast, a couple of "wacky fans" unfurled a banner with a URL over a Chevy billboard inside the stadium. As the camera lingered on the banner for a surprisingly long time (typically the camera only lingers on the stars of Fox shows, sleeping babies or a guy scratching his balls), the broadcast team of Joe Buck and Tim McCarver began joking about the "wacky fan," repeating the URL over and over as they did so. If you are reading this blog, you probably aren't the sort of person who will be surprised that the "wacky fans" were just debuting an ad campaign for a new Chevy truck.

I'm not upset with Fox or Chevy; advertising trucks and selling ads is what they do, so good for them. But you would think Tim McCarver and Joe Buck, the broadcast team, would care more about their credibility. They are, in theory, journalists. They don't hesitate to give their opinions and they expect to be taken seriously. When they do give their opinions, they tend to be sanctimonious killjoys, so I'd be curious to hear what they think about hucksters acting like innocents.

Somehow, I was relieved this is only available in Europe

I saw (via a link at memepool) this link for spray-on fake mud for your SUV, so as to give the illusion that the vastly overpriced, overchromed, and overcarpeted truck you bought actually occasionally makes it off road. Which, of course, it never does. Hell, most Escalade or Navigator owners would probably spray some fake mud in their pants if you don't wipe your feet before entering the vehicle.

That people are willing to spray fake mud on their SUVs to give the illusion that they get more justifiable use is sad. And strange. One is reminded of that fake spray-on hair stuff, but it's not even that. It's got a whole strange defensive quality about it.

Though, if anyone's seriously considering using this stuff, may I suggest a nice coat on the windshield?

Psychedelic Patriotic Propaganda

Back in 1975, the United States Information Agency (our propaganda agency) funded various film projects to celebrate the country's 200th birthday. I stumbled across one such film - "200" - which stands out as an amazing critique of a country obsessed with mass consumption.

I tracked down the creator of this amazing, trippy look at America - animator Vincent Collins. I asked him about this project. "My grant proposal was real general - 'to animate symbols of USA' - the horn of plenty scene was kind of political, but the way all the other symbols animated was sort of sarcastic, also. (USA is 2% of the population of the planet, but uses 90% of the energy type of thing.)  Whatever! They liked it!"

So did the U.S. Information Agency have any problems with the critical look at the U.S.? Collins responded, "The 'Information Agency' that sponsored those films never complained about anything.  In fact, those days, the government was buying a lot of independent films - they bought 6 copies of a couple of my 3 minute psychedelic-druggy animations and even bought 6 copies of Les Blank's "Always for Pleasure" which was an hour and a half long.  Somewhere in the 70's they stopped buying films - about the time everything sort of stopped for avant-garde underground scene."

Link to MPEG-4 file of the film (You'll need Quicktime or VLC to watch this).

Vincent Collin's web site

Vitally Important Missive (Urinal Related)

So what exactly is the point of the high urinal? The goal is to eject the urine out and down, right? Forcing gravity to be an unwitting accomplice in the whole micturating business? Right? That's how I always felt. But recently, I've encountered a string of urinals mounted high enough that my urine ejector assembly was just about resting horizontally on the reasonably repugnant ceramic. Granted, I'm a short guy, but not THAT short. What the hell's going on? Has anyone else noticed this? Is it a trend of some sort? A statement?

Sometimes, I feel so lost.

Oh, and this site seems to be an excellent urinal resource.

Out of town July 14-24

Charles and I are going to be gone for a while. We're at the Copyfight conference in Barcelona, featuring Lawrence Lessig, Downhill Battle, Cory Doctorow, and others. And then we're just going to bum around a bit in Spain. If we have time to get back to the internet we´ll check in again in a couple of days.

I'd like to teach the world to sing ... for mercy

Despite severe water shortages in India, Coke continues to soak up 500,000 liters a day there to make its sugary beverage. Adland notes notes that it takes roughly seven times as much water to create one bottle of Coke.

As ironic commentary, Indian photographer Sharad Haksar created a billboard from a photo of water jugs lined up at a pump in front of a Coca-Cola billboard. Coke hated it so much that have demanded an apology and have threatened to sue him for 2 million rupees ($46,000) for defamation. Haskar told Coke, in essence, to fuck off.

While clearly critical, I can't see how this is at all defamatory. Maybe Coke has the same lawyers as Transports Schiocchet Excursions. I also don't think that this is the most savvy public relations move either, given Coke's other problems in India.

(via adland and Eyeteeth)

Environmental Hazard

Transports Schiocchet Excursions, a French bus company, is suing a group of maids for unfair competition because they stopped taking the bus and started carpooling to work. Damages requested? €2 million. And confiscation of their cars. An early draft of the pleadings probably required that the women be hobbled.

The United States has a reputation for out-of-control litigation. The reputation is mostly an illusion fostered by insurance companies to control costs and raise rates, but it is certainly the conventional wisdom. To maintain the fiction, every year a list of fake lawsuits and verdicts makes the email rounds. And none of it is as stupid as this. The carpool case is so crazy that I have to believe that it was invented by a French tort-reform advocate just to include in a fundraising newsletter.

Logically, the next suit will be against anyone who doesn't work along the route, demanding that they change employment in order to support the company.

(via Catch)

Harry Potter and the Judicial Chamber of Horrors

I haven't read a Harry Potter book since Prisoner of Azkaban but since I intend to catch up eventually I don't want to read any spoilers. Still, I don't think I'd go as far as J. K. Rowling to stop them.

The Real Canadian Superstore in Coquitlam, British Columbia accidentally put Harry Potter and the Half-blood Prince up for sale last week - a week before the official July 16th release date - and sold 14 copies. In response, Rowling and her publisher sought and received a restraining order from a BC judge forbidding anyone who acquired the book from disclosing anything about it and ordering them to return the book to the store immediately. (The full injunction is here.)

I was tipped off to this story by Daniel Radosh, who praises the difference between the First Amendment and the apparently less-robust Canadian equivalent. My first instinct was to agree with him and praise Budweiser for being the first to warn us of the Canadian menace. On second thought, I'm not so sure we are much better.

The BC injunction clearly prohibits anyone (in Canada) from publishing anything that they learned from a book obtained in violation of the embargo. This is a spectacularly broad ban and seems too broad under my understanding of U.S. law. Alas, I'd have to do some actual research to find out if there are any cases where a U.S. court issued an injunction to enforce a publisher-ordered embargo on its distributors against third-parties. (Calling Life, Law, Libido: You have free Lexis access. Can you give me a hand here?) The Canadian case does have echoes of our past, though, so I wouldn't be too surprised if looking around would yield something similar here.

In 1985 the Supreme Court held that The Nation committed a copyright violation by publishing excerpts from Gerald Ford's memoirs before the book was released in an article that revealed Ford's admission that he agreed to pardon Nixon if he stepped down. With all of the hype surrounding the release of the latest Potter book, it too would be clearly newsworthy. If Rowling's publisher were to get word of the pending publication of any of Half-Blood Prince's details, I have no doubt that they would try to stop publication. And very little confidence that they couldn't find a judge willing to help.

Your money or your life

As if dealing with Parkinson's disease isn't hard enough, today's Wall Street Journal reports on the Mayo Clinic's finding that some of the most popular drugs used to treat the disease have an unfortunate side effect: compulsive gambling.

The current theory is that because the drugs work to regulate dopamine, which is itself tied to the brain's pleasure center, messing with that chemistry may enourage a significant number of patients to engage in risk-taking behavior. While rare (~1.5% of patients), it is common enough that Mirapex has recently added this to the side effects identified to doctors. Some people on the drug are claiming that the warning wasn't added soon enough and have instituted a class-action lawsuit. It will be interesting to see how the lawsuit goes, since a quick google search turned up a 2003 article about a Barrow Neurological Institute study reporting the exact same thing. Back when the 2003 article came out, a colleague blogged about it and his comments section is full of Mirapex-induced gambling horror stories.

The Mayo Clinic was quick to warn that patients and doctors "shouldn't automatically forsake Parkinson's drugs, which they  say are safe and effective most of the time." On the other hand, if you are trying to find odds on the success of the lawsuit you should probably consult your physician.

The last refuge

I'm not a big fan of ostentatious displays of nationalism. You want to hang a flag in front of the house? Great. A flag on your house, another waving from your car window and four "God Bless Americas" on your trunk? Give me a fucking break. I think you are overcompensating so much that I'm submitting your license plate to the Department of Homeland Security. Still, these are merely offenses against my sensibilities and no harm is done. Enter Budweiser.

"It doesn't taste like anything, but it isn't very expensive either" wasn't enough to distinguish the beer from Miller or Coors. So Budweiser's latest salvo is to attack the foreign ownership of the competition. Enemies of the state like... Canada.

Now that Budweiser is doing it, others have already started following suit. There is an ad in the window of my neighborhood bodega for Arizona's Rx energy drinks. A can of Rx in Apollo Creed's shorts has his hands raised in victory after knocking out an Austrian Red Bull. I can't help but notice that 90% of the time I am the only American-born person in the bodega.

Watch your back Ikea, Ethan Allen is about to run roughshod over your Scandinavian ass.

Jesus loves Napoleon

I realize evangelical Christians are using lots of pop culture in their sermons these days but...Napoleon Dynamite?! Considering Idaho passed a bill honoring the film, I guess this shouldn't be much of a  surprise. But cult status is one thing, Christian merchandising bonanza quite another.

Negativland's "No Business"

One of our favorite copyfighting groups, Negativland, has a new, long-awaited about out, No Business. Most Negativland albums are concept albums and this one is no exception; No Business focuses on music industry politics, which it skewers with brains and wit. I love any band that loves Ethel Merman, so I was especially happy to hear the title track, a collage of Merman singing about the joys of stealing. Video and audio of said track are online for the taking. Or you can buy the real deal via Stay Free! mailorder for $15 (includes free shipping). That includes the CD, a whoopee cushion emblazoned with the (c) symbol, a booklet/essay, and a video short ("Gimme the Mermaid"), in a handsome package by Sean Tejaratchi.

Also, the Onion's AV Club has a great interview with Don Joyce and Mark Hosler.

Your Debt Isn't Welcome Here

I recently registered at a number of temp agencies in NYC looking for short-term work for the summer. One of the agencies to which I applied deals primarily with large financial and legal corporations. Two of their clients -- Goldman Sachs and Smith Barney -- not only require a potential temp worker to submit to a drug test (which I assume is pretty common now) but they now also require a temp to be fingerprinted for an FBI background check and to submit to a credit check, which to me is the most invasive and unnecessary of the three.

They're all pretty wild hoops when you consider the limited scope a temporary worker has in any business operation, but the credit check really caught me by surprise. I asked the recruiter about it and he said the companies would only flag you if you had a minimum of $10,000 in ignored debt, meaning you hadn't taken any steps to resolve the obligation, weren't working out a payment plan,  etc.

Whether you believe those intentions or not, these companies are demanding access to a tremendous volume of information about you in exchange for a job for which you're given no benefits, no vacation, no sick time, no personal days, no job security. Who knows where that information ends up or what the company (or others, including the FBI) eventually do with it. It's an egregious invaision of privacy and beyond any level of acceptibility for that kind of work.

I'm curious to know if anybody else has had a similar experience and if you've gone through the next step of actually fulfilling the requirements and getting the job offer.

The allure of the open road, twelve seconds at a time

Potholes. Bike messengers. Strollers. The hazards of urban driving are known to anyone who has dared to drive on the rough streets of New York City. But now, thanks to Subaru, you don't have to worry about any of that; you can barrel along, safe and secure.

Introducing the B9 Tribeca, the first SUV tough enough to handle cobblestones.

(Via Ad Pulp)

Hiking through Manhattan

Three weeks ago, Carrie, my brother (Steven), and I headed to Manhattan's west side to climb the High Line, an elevated rail line above 10th Avenue (mostly). The current High Line is a remnant of a much larger elevated freight rail system, and it has been out of use since 1980. The trackbed provides a glimpse of what New York would look like if it were abandoned and turned over to nature.

The High Line starts at 33d Street and 12th Avenue near the MTA's Hudson Yards and runs to  Gansevoort Street and Washington Avenue in the Meatpacking District. I have wanted to walk the line for years and it was exactly as much fun as I thought it would be. I've posted our photos of the trip on Flickr. (This was my first trip to Flickr as well.)

threeThe easiest access to the High Line is by a truck trailer parking lot on 33d Street between 11th and 12th avenues. I didn't take a picture of the lot, but Bluejake did, so if you see this place walk in and head to the back. The track comes down to grade behind those trailers.

There is more commetary with the picture captions, but I want to put this warning here:

Walking the High Line is illegal. The track is the private property of CSX and climbing aboard is trespassing. The buildings along the High Line are also private property. There are multiple obstructions to get around and through - some objectively dangerous (including razor wire and precarious balance). It is a fun trip, but be careful.

Carrie's email has changed

Due to the colossal amounts of spam going to carrie@stayfreemagazine.org, I have changed my email address. The new address is like the old one, except my first name has been replaced with the initials of my first and last name. Got it?  Okay. Please don't add me to any bulk/promo lists unless I ask to be on them. Thanks.

Fuck This Book

Seemingly out of the blue, this wonderful little book with the punk rock title appeared in the mail. The concept is terribly juvenile -- Bodhi Oser places stickers that say FUCK over everyday street signs and other notices, then photographs them--but the results are so hilarious you can't help but be charmed by them.

In a public restroom: "Do not FUCK hand towels." On campus: "Persons must obtain approval of the principal before FUCKing in classrooms or on school grounds." On the street: "Absolutely no FUCKing in front of this door." The book is so handsome, I'd put it on my coffee table (if I had a coffee table). 

Alas, it won't be out until August, but Oser has started a website and is encouraging people to make their own stickers and send in photos.

Flash mobs by Ford?

From Brandweek:

Ford is touting its forthcoming Fusion compact car via the digital/sociological phenomenon of "flash mobs," a cell-phone enabled act of mass performance, in which people show up unannounced at stores in droves, do something weird, and leave. 

I'll confess it's kind of nice seeing marketers assume the role they have traditionally played in the culture: way behind the curve. As my friend Becky said, maybe Ford should cash in on Macarena-mania before it's too late.

(Thanks, Becky Ebenkamp)

It says "frageelay" - it must be from Italy!

Italian graphic designer Modulgraf is developing a talking wine label. According to a company spokesperson, "The idea is to bring the oenologist to the table so that each wine can explain itself in the first person."

Wouldn't it just be easier to teach the Italians to read? Then you could write the information on the label and save the electronics for advanced weapons systems or gondola motors.

The Stork

At a Fourth of July party this weekend, I saw this hilarious animated short by Nina Paley. I'm not going to describe it; just watch it.

Nina has been working on a bunch of cool stuff, in fact, which you can read about on her website.

A Pretty Good Speed

"The president's bicycle was damaged, and he returned to his hotel in an SUV that had been trailing him as he rode with a Secret Service agent, McClellan said."

Yes, it's the president. Yes, security. Yes, this post is a cheap shot (not about him falling). Given his penchant for incongruities in the way he rides his bike, though, I think it's worth noting.

We're expecting our cease-and-desist any day now

Leo Stoller is homesteading on the public domain and waving a shotgun at anyone that wanders onto his land.

As the New York Times reports, Stoller is a cease-and-desist machine who claims the trademark for the word "stealth" for any and all purposes, and enforces his purported rights with zeal. The original definition of stealth was "theft," which seems appropriate, since Stoller is stealing the concept of stealing. The New York Times slyly notes that among the other words Stoller claims as his own are "hoax" and "chutzpah." It's almost enough to make you think that Stoller might be a culture jammer following in the footsteps of Kembrew McLeod's trademark in the phrase "Freedom of Expression." (He even claims some rights to "free speech".) Alas, no.

Stoller has sent C&D's over products ranging from a remote control (Panasonic removed the word from its product name) to the B2 stealth bomber (Northrop Grumman paid him $10 to shut the fuck up and go away). In all cases, it appears that the threat of litigation costs drives people to settle. It certainly isn't the strength of Stoller's legal claims. Check out his list of his word marks: he claims ownership of ".com," "cyberspace" and "ebusiness." And he implies that Stradivarius, Terminator and Sentra are marks he helps the owners protect. (Or is he saying that he can license them for your use? It is a bit fuzzy, which is probably how he prefers it.)

But of all his misdeeds, I'd have to say the "futuristic" graphics he uses on his site are the worst of all. Presumably, he displays the words as 3-D images to claim a trademark for the distinctive look of his marks, but that makes it worse. Who would possibly use a logo that embarrassing?

The most judgmental casino in town

I play poker, so I'm well aware that gambling can be costly, and that table games at a casino are rigged in the house's favor. Still, you don't expect to hear it from the casino.

How would you pitch staying at the Morongo Casino & Resort?

(via AdRants)

Stay Free! seeking submissions for issue #25

We're gearing up for another issue of Stay Free! magazine and welcome new contributors. There will be something of a theme this time: hoaxes. But we're always up for features that don't fit the theme. If you have an ideas for humor pieces, interviews, photo essays, or other story ideas that you think would fit the mag, email me a note pitching the idea and include samples of your work (ideally URLs) with it - stay.free (a) verizon.net. Or if you are blocked from emailing Verizon, because toxic Verizon castrates foreigners, send it to Charles instead at cdstar (a) gmail.com

A few specific things we're looking for:

• Local people (Ideally, Brooklynites) who have weird jobs and who would make for a good interview, for our "gigs" section. (So far we have run interviews with a guy who makes Jesus robots and former flavor factory workers.)
• Reviews for "My New Favorite Thing" section. These can be anything, not just albums, movies, books and websites, but ideas, persons, or other phenomenon.
• A good question we can ask readers that will elicit entertaining responses.
  (Past examples: "Ever been fired?"  and "What do you do with your ex's stuff?" )
• Posts for Stay Free Daily, our blog. This is a perennial. I'd love to find another regular blogger or two.
• And, naturally, anything connected to hoaxes or their history.

DEADLINES

Wed., July 13:
Send me yr ideas/pitches by next Wed. if at all possible. Otherwise, the latest you should respond if you want to contribute is July 24. (I'll be on vacation from July 14-24)

Sun. August 1:
First drafts due

McDonald's makes a fashion statement

Stay Free! correspondent Alexandra Ringe (right) and Baby Radosh model one possible McDonald's uniform design.

From Advertising Age:

McDonald’s is recruiting Russell Simmons, P. Diddy and Tommy Hilfiger to perform a miracle makeover: Turn its employees' mundane uniforms into hip street wear.

As it attempts to change its image from a fat purveyor to phat icon, the world’s largest youth employer is turning to these style-setters for what could be an $80 million makeover for its army of workers. The idea is to turn employees into walking brand billboards as they circulate among their peers.

Great. As if working at McDonald's isn't humiliating enough, now you gotta show your friends some flair.

I don't know many teenagers now but when I was 16, I got a job at a McDonald's several miles away from my house to make sure my friends never saw me there. I was a burger-flipper and if I wanted to go out after work, I had to shower first. The most diligent scrubbing couldn't combat the stench of fried patties on my person. Even my hair smelled like burgers.... and that was after showering! If I actually wore my uniform out to, say, a club, I probably could have cleared a room with the odor.

Good luck to the marketing geniuses that came up with this one. I can't think of better advertising for jobs at Burger King, Pizza Hut, or KFC. (Filthy whores, painful itch and nausea etc.)

"Your blog is important to us"

There's been a lot of talk on the ad-o-sphere lately about various ways corporations are using blogs, not only for promotion but for market research. Blogs are seen as sort of high-tech focus group promising company X insights into its brand. What's funny is how so many marketers want to get the gist of what blogs are saying without actually having to read them. Agencies refer to "natural language algorithms" and "unstructured-data mining" that parse bloggers' words into "actionable" "marketing data." As one robot explains:

"We can parse the speech in these blogs, break it down by nouns, verbs, adjectives and phrases to derive meaning and understanding about the speech and the speaker," David Howlett, Umbria's product management vice president, told United press International. "We use machine-learning algorithms to show who the speaker is and their characteristics."

So if you pepper your posts with OMG ("oh my God!") or POS ("parent over shoulder") the robots will think you're a pre-teen girl; FUBAR means you're a frat boy or an aging hippie. And those demographic cues will determine how marketers weight what you have to say... unless of course you're Boing Boing or Slashdot, which are large enough for the suits to justify reading.

All of this is an effort to manage the blog world and make it more like the mainstream media. As some engineers behind these efforts put it:

The blogosphere as a whole can be exploited for outreach opinion formation, maintaining online communities, supporting knowledge management within large global collaborative environments, monitoring reactions to public events and is seen as the upcoming alternative to the mass media.

All of this makes me wonder how to screw with the data crunchers. I always thought it'd be fun to be in a focus group so I could give bad advice.... not just negative criticism, but misleading opinions. I'm not sure what the equivalent would be on blogs, but maybe randomly namechecking popular brands in posts would help by adding noise... or, I dunno, associating popular brands with negatively valenced words:

unemployed Microsoft Gator adware boycott fatigue depression fetid Burger King hernia skinhead dreary phlegm crucifixion self-mutilation pro-ana Starbucks arrhythmia goiter bloody wound blood-stained urine torture oozing Wal-Mart rape melanoma scourge pestilence noxious discharge end times Coca-Cola anal leakage spastic bottom-feeding crybaby crying babies Nike Scientology torture ejaculate headache fungus etc.

U.S. Workers Too Uneducated to Build Cars?

From Metafilter: "Toyota announced it will build a new car factory in Woodstock, Ontario, even though several US states offered greater subsidies and tax breaks to the company. The reason?

"[M]uch of that extra money would have been eaten away by higher training costs than are necessary for the Woodstock project... Nissan and Honda have encountered difficulties getting new plants up to full production in recent years in Mississippi and Alabama due to an untrained - and often illiterate - workforce. In Alabama, trainers had to use 'pictorials' to teach some illiterate workers how to use high-tech plant equipment.

"(Also a contributing factor -- Canada's national health service, which apparently drives down the overall cost of each individual worker.)"

It's Alive!

I can't pinpoint an exact date but at some point over the past year or so, the New York Times Sunday "Arts" section got interesting. Instead of rewritten press releases and boring recital reviews, the editors are doing more idea-driven features like this one on artists who do freaky things with biological materials:

... creating "victimless" meat by growing tiny steaks from biopsied frog cells and then eating the steaks; using bone cells from pigs to grow wing-shaped objects, a play on the "when pigs fly" trope; coaxing cactuses into sprouting human-like hair; growing tissue in a petri dish that could theoretically be marketed as a hymen replacements."

Writer Randy Kennedy adeptly explores the role of activism in such art, which, from where I stand, is what makes it valuable; without activism, this work strikes me as nothing more than a grotesque of scientific hubris. The artists who don't approach genetic engineering critically -- and there are quite of few of them -- are downright scary.

This article reminds me of an illuminating book by Roger Shattuck, Forbidden Knowledge -- half focused on literary analysis, half on the history of science (I only read the science part) -- about the human quest for knowledge as an end in itself. Shattuck wrestles with an impolitic question: is it acceptable or even possible to limit scientific discovery for ethical reasons?

Fair Market Value

The Boston Globe describes one of the latest advertising innovations: bloggers who secretly promote products for a fee.

One of the bloggers, Jeff Cutler, was asked to promote a product that he has never used. He confronted the abyss, looked into his soul and asked himself what his integrity was worth. And the answer was "not as much as a Venti mochaccino." What is the exact price of Jeff Cutler? Five dollars.

He didn't even get a "thank you" basket.

I think we are on the cusp of a marketing revolution. Why hire a celebrity, which can run into the tens of millions of dollars. Why even shoot a commercial? AFTRA scale can really pile up. The Jeff Cutlers of the world are willing to get the word out for five dollars, and the BzzAgents will do it for nothing more than free samples.

Here at Stay Free! we will advertise your product, but only on our own terms.

(Via Waxy)

Psychopaths for Family Values

This photo was splayed across the front page of Friday's "Metro" under the headline "Spain Approves Gay Marriage." Apparently the people pictured are protesting gay marriage for "silencing traditional families." I may be missing something here but I'm guessing these protesters don't quite get the media image thing. The first thing that came to mind when I saw this photo was: man, those anti-gay activists are fuckin' terrifying!

(Photo by Jasper Juinen for AP)

Pushy Scrushy

After miraculously winning an acquital on securities fraud charges, Richard Scrushy, former CEO of HealthSouth, wants his job back. Even though the company comitted a multi-billion dollar fraud on his "watch."

His defense was "I didn't know or understand what was going on," so I guess we are supposed to believe that he learned enough during the trial about accounting to actually run the company.