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Brain Taunter
Little, stupid Flash-based ads that tout low mortgage rates are pretty much everywhere on the web, kind of like the soot-blackened gum wads pounded into the sidewalk of any big city: ubiquitous, mildly repugnant, and ignored.
But, much like soot-blackened gum wads, sometimes one of these ads catches my eye. Like today. This ad, pictured below, seems to have some kind of slightly stoned green hippy troll-thing giving me a wobbly peace sign, surrounded by a sea-like miasmic soup of low-mortgage rate information. The troll has also made the questionable choice of tattooing "Bad Credit OK" on his distended abdomen. The text reminds me that mortgage rates have hit record lows.
What the fuck? I almost NEVER take advice from trolls, let alone stoned ones, and certainly not about anything as important as my mortgage. I'd love to know the thinking behind these ads; I've seen dancing gingerbread men, drunk penguins, some kind of rubbery cowboy, all shilling low mortgage rates. Is it just that mortgages are too abstract a concept to apply anything that makes sense? Is it intentionally dada, or, more likely, are these automatically made by some bot programmed to randomly search and assemble animated images?
I'd like to believe that these are all the work of some brilliant designer, and I'm just too base and limited to really see what's going on.
Anyway, those mortgage rates are low. That troll may know what he's talking about.
UPDATE: For another winning mortgage offer, see the comments.
Posted by Jason Torchinsky on 08/19/2005 | Permalink
Comments
It's a well-known fact that many animals and certain mythological beasts have heightened senses that can pick up on cues we miss - particularly in the world of personal finance and group medical coverage. Why, just the other day a talking duck and a humorous gecko teamed up to provide me with affordable, cutesy-wootsy insurance.
But regarding the ad - I think I saw that dude at a Phish concert once.
Posted by: N8 | Aug 19, 2005 3:52:04 PM
The mortgage troll is weird. But for me, the gingerbread man ad was the weirdest. I put a copy up here:
http://www.vgg.com/tmike/CAGNHJEU.swf
I can't figure out what's going on. The look on the gingerbread man's face looks like he's either defecating, urinating, or ejaculating, and whichever it is, it comes out as white icing, and he's done it so much that he's become stuck in his own fluids up to his waist. How he's managed to fill up an entire test tube is beyond me. He also got some on top of his head! Gross!
And who's the sick bastard who trapped the gingerbread man in the test tube in the first place? Maybe filling up the tube is the only way he can get to the top and escape it! In which case, go little gingerbread man, go! Fill that tube! Escape to plot your terrible gingerbread vengance!
There's a whole, strange, sick story going on here. What an icing-spewing gingerbread man in danger of drowning in his own bodily fluids has to do with mortgage rates, exactly, should be the subject of a long, painful investigation by the management of LowerMyBills.com into the loons who design their web ads.
Posted by: T. Mike | Aug 19, 2005 4:11:47 PM
Am I mistaken, or is the hippy troll's necklace not an actual peace symbol? It appears instead to be a Mercedes hood ornament. This troll is more of a trouble-maker than he looks.
Posted by: John | Aug 20, 2005 3:23:01 AM
The gingerbread man rant is one of the funniest articles I have read in quite sometime. I had to go to the bathroom and hide from fellow workers I was laughing so hard. CLASSIC!
Posted by: Dougie | Nov 14, 2005 4:44:22 PM
Funny stuff - love the gingerbread man rant.
I worked at Lowermybills for years & a big part of my job was crunching the numbers on ad response rates - I can tell you the craziest part about these ads is how well they work. Not for no reason did Experian pay $330 MM for that little company.
The designer actually is quite brilliant, although "intentionally dada" is actually not too far off the mark. But in the direct response Ad biz you can't argue with a great ROI.
Posted by: EJ | Jan 6, 2006 5:46:26 PM
