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Proposed: New Unit of Measurement
Ever been to Myrtle Beach, SC? It's a craphole. What makes it a craphole is not so much the actual beach landscape itself, but rather the sheer volume of crap-vending, advertising, and generally far too much commerce in too small a volume. Not good commerce, either; lots of '12 for $5' t-shirt places, Hooters, and similar offal.
So I was thinking, how would I inform someone who, say, was trying to decide whether to vacation at Myrtle Beach or the Outer Banks of NC? I suppose I could describe the overdevelopment of Myrtle Beach compared to the relatively unspoiled Outer Banks, but that would require lots of descriptions, modifiers, opinions, etc., all of which involve lots of me talking, which I can't imagine is a pleasant experience for my perplexed inquisitor.
There's got to be a better way. And now there is: the Walt Scale of Crass Commercialization.
I've developed this new metric, based on two diametrically opposed Walts: Walt Whitman and Walt Disney. The Whitman side ends at 0, the realm of a purely natural, unspoiled environment, Leaves of Grass and all that. At the other end of the scale, topping out at 100 Walts, is Disney, culminating in, say, Disneyland: an area designed solely for the maximum commercial potential.
Now, this is not a scale of worth: I'm passing no judgements here-- in fact, I think the worst places probably fall in the 35-45 and the 65-75 Walts range of the scale: places that purport to be non-commercial (or commercial) and yet are tainted with either a crippling lack of commerce or a painful overindulgence. And, I think there's a sweet spot in the middle. See, a place rated at 90+ Walts is just fine, if what you're looking for is commercial by nature; same goes for places 10 Walts and below if you're looking for a place that is natural by nature; the bastardizations in that middle range probably satisfy nobody. For example, I'd peg Myrtle Beach at about 72 Walts.
So problem solved. Now you can convey this valuable information about any location in a quantifiable, unambiguous manner. Enjoy.
Posted by Jason Torchinsky on 09/22/2005 | Permalink
Comments
now you're on to something. I will adopt.
good goin young man.
Posted by: merkley??? | Sep 22, 2005 8:53:15 PM
Neat and useful idea, but do you really need 100(!) points of gradation? 1-10 would be better.
Posted by: Liz2K | Sep 23, 2005 12:48:49 PM
I'd have to agree that 100 points would prove more useful than 10, given the incredibly wide range of commercialization in this country. I mean heck, think of all the factors - is it dense or sprawl, downtown or suburb, locally owned or nationwide chain, seedy but quirky, bland but useful, etc.
But the fatal flaw may be the inability to come up with a score that means the same to any two people. Ocracoke Island has lots of shops and restaurants, but is entirely charming (IMHO), so to tell someone it is a 50, for example, might be misleading.
Posted by: openmind | Sep 23, 2005 8:06:35 PM
Great system! This can also be appled to other areas beyond Commercialization; for example, the relative gayness of a person or thing. On this scale, Whitman would mean "Gay," and Disney would mean "Extremely Gay." Applied to a couple real-word examples:
Jesus sandals = Gay; Man bags = Extremely Gay.
"Support our troops" magnetic ribbons = Gay; "Live Strong" bracelets = Extremely Gay.
Ipod = Gay; Wireless Cellphone Headset = Extremely Gay.
Posted by: Rockets Redglare | Sep 23, 2005 9:00:41 PM
That is brilliant! I will use it too, so it's already spread to Sandy Beach, NSW, Australia. I should add that I am a huge fan of both the Walts, but not Walt D's corporation, not any more anyway. Both were great American geniuses who have brought immense pleasure and awe to billions. But commercialisation, thy name is now Disney. BTW, I read you on my SharpReader.
Posted by: Pip Wilson | Sep 24, 2005 10:03:57 AM
While I think this is terrific, I feel compelled to point out that there's a mall named for Walt Whitman a few miles from where I work on Long Island. Verses from "Leaves of Grass" are carved into the walls.
Here's a link to some other person's annoyance about it:
http://www.levity.com/brooklyn/Mall/WaltWhitmanMall.html
Posted by: Alleen | Sep 25, 2005 8:40:42 PM
This reminds me of the Fractured Fairy Tale (on "Rocky and Bullwinkle") where the Handsome Prince wanted Sleeping Beauty to stay asleep so he could build "Sleepingbeautyland" around her and make the bucks. Naturally, the prince bore an odd resemblance to Walt #2.
Posted by: The Molecules of Hipness | Oct 18, 2005 1:38:15 AM
