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Rotten Apple

If you thought the Cingular ads featuring MLK's historic I Have a Dream speech was appalling, Apple has gone and raised the bar. Their homepage recently featured an image of Rosa Parks on the bus with, presumably, the embodiment of Apple graciously sitting behind her.

Think Different, my ass. Whatever the flaws with the Cingular commercial (from the grotesque use of a symbol of our country's greatest ambitions to use cellphones to the participation in the devaluing of Rev. King by his estate), at least Cingular didn't pretend to be heroes in the struggle for black emancipation.

Apple should be ashamed of themselves. I'm surprised that nobody reported rumblings from the Capitol Rotunda, were Rosa Parks was certainly rolling over in her coffin.

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Also from Stay Free!: Advertising Claims the Dead (issue #17, 2000)

Strawberry Shortcake in Leather?

A French company recently petitioned the EU intellectual property court for a trademark on the smell of strawberries. In a shocking development, the following logic failed to sway the Court:

Paris-based Eden Sarl wanted to use the smell in soaps, face cream, stationery, leather goods and clothing.... The company argued that while strawberries may look and taste different, they all smell the same, and as a result could be trademarked.

It's a good thing the Court stepped in when it did: Eden Sarl's next logical step would be to claim confusion in the marketplace and request that the sale of strawberries be halted.

Looking for Brooklyn doormen

Attn. Brooklynites: We're looking for doormen who work in Brooklyn residential buildings to interview for the next issue of Stay Free! (which will be out in February 2006).

If you or any Brooklynites you know live in a doorman building and think your doorman would be up for talking to a stranger about his life and his work -- and letting us take photos -- please let me know: stay.free (at) verizon.net.

Many thanks.

Carrie speaking at Rutgers - Thurs. Nov. 3

In the event that you find yourself in New Brunswick, NJ, next week, I'm giving a talk on subliminal advertising (based on my Stay Free! article) as part of the Rutgers Program Council's "Truth in the Media" series:

Rutgers Student Center, Multipurpose Room - 8 pm
Admission is free.

Martha Stewart Living, indeed

Fresh out of prison, Martha Stewart has designed the ultimate consumer product: an entire Martha Stewart subdivision.

The omnipresent domestic diva has extended her brand yet again, partnering with developer KB Home to create a New England-style neighborhood of 650 houses in [Cary, NC, an ] affluent Raleigh suburb.

Notice how she made sure it is nowhere near her Hamptons estate.

The article continues:

[Potential buyers] will be able to choose from 12 models in townhomes and single-family dwellings... Three house designs are based on homes Stewart owns in Maine and New York state, and options for interior features in all models -- from wainscoting to light fixtures to paint colors and flooring -- were chosen by Stewart's design team.

The above is shortly followed by:

"When they're making their decision in a homogenized landscape, you have to have something that sets you apart..." said Rick Ohmann, vice president of sales for St. Lawrence Homes.

Yeah, so homeowners can choose from the Everyday Rustic layout in peach, Green Tea, or Ivory... I know I'm taking this out of context and all, but isn't selecting a Martha Stewart house to avoid homogenity like fighting fast-food chains by buying up all of their burgers?

Even though Martha World will be in an affluent suburb, the homes -- priced from $150,000 to $400,000 -- are considerably cheaper than others in the area. So, like Stewart's K-Mart line, the subdivision is geared to the lower-budget crowd...which, um, I guess includes me.

(Thanks to Germaine Fodor for the tip!)

Saved Premillenialist Christians Shouldn't Drive

I'm sure everyone here has been driving and seen the bumper sticker that reads "In case of Rapture, car will be unmanned." While this never fails to inspire some very action-movie style daydreams and exciting video game premises, it also brings up a far more practical issue: should saved Christians be allowed to drive?

One would think that, if we don't grant driver's licences to narcoleptics, epileptics, or other people who may, at random, lose all control of their careening vehicle, we sure as hell won't grant a license to someone who may just up and disappear without warning. But, this never seems to come up.

That fundamentalist, evangelical, end-times-anticipating Christians seek to create or alter legislation to support their beliefs is not exactly news. And, of course, it's well within their rights to petition and badger and seek to achieve their goals of teaching religious pseudoscience in schools, or keeping gay people from marrying, and so on-- but it seems to me that if they are really going to be forthright in their goals of altering the laws of the United States to fit their theology, they can't just pick and choose the laws they want. To really be taken seriously, they need to go all the way, to do the right thing and press for legislation stipulating that anyone who has accepted Jesus Christ into their hearts cannot safely pilot a motorized vehicle or similar heavy machinery.

I'm willing also to consider legislation that would provide for them the right to pilot small, possibly electric city-cars that are speed-limited to 25 MPH, contain adequate warning lights and signage, and, upon detection of loss of driver (via a simple switch in the seat that disengages when the driver is raptured away) sounds a warning klaxon as it slowly comes to a safe, controlled stop under automatic control.

So, saved Premillenialist Christians, here's my challenge to you: go all the way. Fight for what you want in our schools, our hospitals, our public places, but stick to your beliefs on our highways as well. I mean, that's what being a fundamentalist is all about, right?

*** Note: I changed "Fundamentalist" to "Premillenialist" basd on the writings of Nathaniel, the commenter. Thanks for the terminology tip!

The New Puritans

Move over metrosexuals, a new movement is afoot:

They're the New Puritans. A generation of young, educated and opinionated people determined to sidestep the consumerist perils of modern life. So if you own a 4x4, spend all your time shopping, or are simply overweight - watch your back.

This, from the Guardian, which defines this "moral minority" as a characteristically British movement - in part, a response to American consumer excess. But after Charles's and my recent bout with the puritans in our midst, I'm not so sure.

The New Puritans sounds a lot like the Voluntary Simpletons to me, with minor differences: their prohibitionist stance against drug and drink, for instance. And the lack of capital required. (Perhaps the ultimate irony of the "live simply" movement in the States is that only the wealthy can afford it.)

But the impulse to attack one's fellows based on what they consume -- and to self-righteously applaud one's own choices -- is as deeply ingrained here as anywhere.

Much as I love the Reverend Billy and genuinely appreciate his style of street theater, screaming at shoppers for consuming strikes me as bit like trying to cure alcoholics by shouting STOP DRINKING. It may make for good theater but otherwise it's more annoying than helpful. (Kinda like those PETA actions that make you want to eat kittens.)

There are no shortage of ills associated with our consumer culture and there is a great deal that personal responsibility can accomplish. Yes. But considering that, for example, two-thirds of American adults and 15% of children are obese, I think it's pretty clear that the underlying problems here are social issues... and that institutional changes will go a lot farther than name-calling.

(via Consuming Things)

The cheapest whores on campus

Back in the good old days, the only companies employing college reps were the major record labels. Apparently, nowadays, everyone's in the game.  From the Boston Globe:

In an age when the college demographic is no longer easily reached via television, radio, or newspapers... a microindustry of campus marketing has emerged. Niche firms have sprung to act as recruiters of students, who then market products on campus for companies such as Microsoft, JetBlue Airways, The Cartoon Network, and Victoria's Secret...

The students selected tend to be campus leaders with large social networks that can be tapped for marketing... They are expected to devote about 10 to 15 hours a week talking up the products to friends, securing corporate sponsorship of campus events, and lobbying student newspaper reporters to mention products in articles. They also must plaster bulletin boards with posters and chalk sidewalks -- tactics known as ''guerilla marketing," which, marketing firms acknowledge, intentionally skirt the boundaries of campus rules. (emphasis added)

The companies not only get the kids to do their dirty work for them, they get them to do it for free!

Watch out for Lord Moldevort

From Gamespot: "Barry Hatter is an action adventure game featuring young wizards, broomstick racing, and a completely original concept." [Italics mine]

We'll just have to trust that it's in there somewhere.

The Rent: It's Too Damn High

I've definitely been leaning toward Ferrer in the NYC mayoral elections -- not so much out of enthusiasm for him, but rather a general unease with the corporate-friendly Bloomberg administration. Then along comes Jimmy McMillan of the "The RENT Is Too Damn High Party".

Now this is something I can totally get behind -- for as we all know, the rent is indeed too damn high. And while McMillan's proposed remedy seems a bit radical, it would save me about $600/month, or $57,000 in all:

... tenants will only pay no more than $550.00 per,mo in RENT for the next 8 years. This will give the people a chance the get their lives back together.

This is starting to sound quite good, as I could really use that money to get my life back together. And Jimmy McMillan even has a really snappy song about the rent being too damn high. Sorry Ferrer, I think to myself, but this is too good to pass up.

Then comes the rub: Jimmy McMillan blames the Jews for making the rent too damn high. He details how Christian, Islamic and even Animist and "Chinese Folk" can live together, but apparently not the Jews.

Damn. Time to put that Ferrer button back on...

No respek for Ali G

It's been a long time since someone's appearance in an advertisement bummed me out but I was sad to see that Ali G (Sacha Baron Cohen) is now doing commercials (reg. required), for TNT's NBA games. It's hardly surprising -- he is, after all, an entertainer -- but at his best, I think Cohen has really made an art form out of his kind of guerilla interview. The kind of discomfort you get from watching him interact with his subjects has been completely removed from these spots, which makes him look more like a clown more than anything else. Oh well. At least he's not hawking Nikes...

I am a huge nerd.

Although my love of music hasn't completely died, about 3 years ago I had a 30 minute commute and got hooked on audiobooks and lectures. Finding interesting content isn't always easy. However, I just found a new area to mine: Stanford on iTunes. Free faculty lectures, interviews, and panels. Including talks by Amy Goodman, Angela Davis, Lawrence Lessig, Paul Ehrlich, Rebbecca Solnit, Alice Waters, and on and on. This is not going to help the obsessive autodidact inside me.

Thanks to Makezine.com.

Furberry

What could possibly be sadder than people who dress up their dogs? People who dress up their ferrets.

Still, did Burberry have to send a cease and desist to a ferret clothier for selling a ferret cap and cape patterned after the Burberry line? That seems like it would just get those people angry and, since they already seem a little unstable, I'm not so sure that Burberry wants to push them too hard.

(Via Annals of Improbable Research)

Tsarbucks

Starbucks wants to open in Russia but they can't do it yet because Sergei Zuykov owns their trademark. Even better: he had it cancelled and transferred to him in 2002 because Starbucks wasn't actually using it. His current asking price is $600,000.

It sure didn't take some Russians very long to figure out how this "capitalism" thing works.

Sex Matters

A top British advertising executive resigned after being quoted thusly on the subject of why women were underrepresented at the top of his industry:

They're crap.

Thereby proving what the questioner was probably getting at. No boy's club here; It must be his creative use of language and intuitive sense of the audience that vaulted him to the top of his field.

(Via Can't Stop The Bleeding)

Carrie's on vacation

hey people, I'm taking a much-needed (if unfortunately timed) vacation beginning tonight; I'll be back on Wed., October 26. It's possible that I'll check in from my remote region of Portland, Oregon, but let's not count on that. Until next week, happy times...

Six Things One Should Know About Dressed Dogs

I've ended up on some weird mailing lists in my time but this email (below) tops them all. It's from an email series called PicturePeople which, from what I gather, consists of found photographs and text. And that's really all I have to say about it.

###

Six Things One Should Know About Dressed Dogs

1. dog dress is a form of communication. It carries nonverbal messages to its audience com-posed of peers and other species that are inaccessible to their human companions.

2. dog dress represents dog values of identity with a particular peer or species group, and at the same time expresses a need to be different from other dogs and species (i.e. cats, parakeets, rats, etc.)

3. dog dress differences symbolize a need for autonomy. Dogs, not their owners, strive for independence.

4. dog dress as different from human dress is a relatively recent historical phenomenon. Pre-vious to the 1950's the dress of dogs mimicked human fashions.

5. dog dress of the present appears to have a historical connection with the dog clothing of the late 1950s and early 1960s. Fashions styles manifest a cyclical nature. What is new and apparently original dress to one generation has its derivation in the past (though there were times when dogs were not dressed at all!).

6. dog dress of the present is influenced by the media. The recent development of animal food commercials demonstrates the powerful effect clothing of animal film stars has on dog audiences.

Remember that clothing is a language, a nonverbal system of communication that through its symbols conveys much about the wearer to the viewer. Before dogs bark at one another, their clothing makes a statement that expresses their sex, age, class, occupation, origin and personality, as well as what they are or what they want to be at a particular moment. Consult Donna Haraway's Companion Species Manifesto (Chicago: Prickly Paradigm Press, 2003) for further information.

Talk bubble advertising

Designer Ji Lee makes "talk bubble" stickers that he places on street level advertising. After passersby fill in the bubbles with commentary, Lee photographs them, then documents the results at TheBubbleProject.com. 

The project creates a forum for some dialogue in public space typically dominated by advertisers. Oh, and how it hits a soft spot in my heart! (In fact it was a similar motivation which inspired a project I did with the Anti-Advertising Agency.)  The Bubble Project includes templates so you can print out the bubbles at home and paste them up in your town.

Pillsbury porn

My buddy Becky Ebenkamp told me about me this awesome cover on a Pillsbury Halloween-recipe book. "Hojo's Times Square may be gone," she writes, "but its clam-plate-orgy-style subliminal advertising technique is still going strong!" (Thanks, Beck!)

Astroturf for Ratner

Whenever Bruce Ratner and New York politicos appear in public to talk about the proposed Nets arena over the Atlantic Yards, there are usually two groups out in force: the opposition (Develop, Don't Destroy Brooklyn and No Land Grab) and the supporters (Brooklyn United for Innovative Local Development, aka BUILD)). At these events, the BUILD supporters shout down the opposition, frequently calling them racists. DDDB and NLG have long suspected that BUILD were not "community activists," just a front group on the developer's payroll but BUILD has always claimed total independence.

BUILD has been lying. Today's Daily News reports that BUILD has finally admitted that they have received substantial support from Forrest City Ratner. If FCR and the city can't be honest about their supporters, how can we be sure that they are being honest in how they present the windfall that the City will receive after giving Bruce Ratner a $100,000,000+ gift?

PhRMA's latest fiction

If I made stuff up like this, no one would believe me:

The Pharmaceutical Research and Manufacturers of America (PhRMA) recently commissioned a novel that purported to scare people out of getting their drugs from Canada.... but, wait, it gets better. The author assigned to write the book, Julie Chrystyn,  turned in a draft that didn't suit the suits:

Her story concerned a Croatian terrorist cell that uses Canadian Web sites to murder millions of unwitting Americans looking for cut-rate pharmaceuticals.

So PhRMA commissioned a co-author, Kenin Spivak, who told the Daily News that "they wanted it somewhat dumbed down for women, with a lot more fluff in it." (Women are the main consumers of Canadian drugs.)

"They also wanted to change the motivating factor of the terrorists to greed, because they didn't want it to be politics," Spivak said. "They wanted lots of people to die."

...and so the deal eventually broke down. Now, whether that's because the authors didn't kill enough consumers is something we can only speculate. All we know is that PhRMA pulled out and offered the writers $100,000 to go away. The writers, however, declined, and so we have The Karasik Conspiracy to look forward to next year.

From each, according to his balance

Advertising Age worries that a new best-seller will hurt marketers' efforts to use radio-frequency id (RFID) chips to track consumer habits.

Me? I'm delighted to hear about the work of Katherine Albrect and Liz McIntyre, who track the direct market industry so we don't have to. Albrect and McIntyre's book Spychips: How Major Corporations and Government Plan to Track Your Every Move with RFID, has hit the top 10 of Amazon's nonfiction list - a small triumph for their activist group, Consumers Against Supermarket Privacy Invasion and Numbering (CASPIAN).

I haven't read the book but from a look at CASPIAN's website, I can guess one of the central arguments: shopping cards and other direct marketing devices appear to benefit consumers by providing discounts when in fact they do the opposite. Though cards may appear to save shoppers a few cents, the enormous costs of implementing these programs increase prices overall. Card-club stores tend to cost more than stores without cards. One study found that Albertsons and Brookshires - two stores with card programs - were selling packages of Velveeta cheese marked with the manufacturers' suggested retail price of $3.99 for $5.99 and $5.59 (respectively); the only way customers could get the $3.99 price was to use a club card. Nearby stores without card programs were selling the stuff for $3.99.

Store costs only stand to worsen as marketers further refine their targeting, with stores catering to high-profit customers (middle and upper-class families, for instance) at the expense of low-profit ones (low-income singles). By providing companies with ever-increasing information about your purchasing habits, they stand to swing the balance of power even further toward corporations and thereby maximize the dollars they suck out of each individual customers.

As Albrect argues, corporate claims to reward customer "loyalty" with tracking devices are but a ruse. Marketers primary duty is and will always be getting as much from its customers - however "loyal" - as possible.

For example, L.L. Bean recently produced two versions of its catalog:

"This holiday season, L.L. Bean, which has a tradition of offering unconditional free shipping, made it conditional to some and unconditional to others. It mailed a catalog to existing customers with no offer of free shipping. A second catalog that went to prospects, however, offered free shipping with no minimum purchase required."

In other words, the loyal customers got the shaft.

Albrect and McIntyre also raise serious concerns about the civil-liberties implications of widescale consumer tracking. The strongest criticisms are based on potential or future uses of these technologies. And if some of the fears ring a curiously conspiratorial note, well, so be it.

Albrect is, in fact, an eschatological Christian who has produced videos for Endtime Ministries, including one that equated RFID with [cough] the mark of the beast. But unlike most evangelicals, she's discreet about her biblical beliefs and seems to have a grasp on the difference between fact and fiction. According to a Wired story, the EFF and other mainstream privacy advocates have actively encouraged her to reach out to Christian fundamentalists. And it's not hard to see why. As anyone who remembers Proctor & Gamble's battle over its "satanic" logo in the 1980s can attest, Christian conspiracists make for a formidable (if crazed) foe.

Conveniently enough, one of the companies researching the use of RFID in consumer tracking: Proctor & Gamble.

The MP3 Experiment 2.0

>>> Important: this event has been moved to Sunday 10/16 at 3 PM. Watch this page for updates. <<<

This coming Saturday, performance artists slash pranksters Improv Everywhere are staging a “mission” in Manhattan to which you, dear reader, are invited.

For complete instructions, go to this site, where you’ll be able to download an audio file to load onto your iPod, Creative Nomad, iRiver, Archos, or what have you. As the site says, DO NOT listen to the file yet, but rather have it loaded and ready to play when the mission begins on Saturday, at which point the file will tell you what to do. Conceivably, it could tell you to play hacky-sack or eat your shoelaces, but if the first MP3 Experiment is any guide, it's likely to be something a lot more fun.

Forgettable science

I suppose it was inevitable. Larry Farwell, the genius behind so-called "brain fingerprinting" has set his sights on a new outlet for his invention: advertising.

I first heard of Farwell when he appeared on "60 Minutes" a couple of years ago touting brain fingerprinting as an "100% accurate" method of lie detection -- perfect for crime fighting and terrorist hunting. I'm generally a fan of "60 Minutes" but this report was extremely dubious, filled with hyperbolic claims and false assumptions.

Brain fingerprinting is said to work by measuring a suspect's memories. For example, a man who murders his wife and dumps her body in a field will have memories of that field, the reasoning goes. Farwell claims that brain fingerprinting's ability to detect such culprit-specific memories (or lack thereof) makes it a foolproof forensic tool. In order to buy these claims, though, you've not only got to assume that the technology does what Farwell says it does, but you have to accept that culprits remember details Farwell says they should.

Anyway, a couple of months after watching that "60 Minutes" episode, I had the good fortune of sitting next to an honest-to-god neuroscientist/lie detection specialist on a flight. At the mere mention of brain fingerprinting, he chuckled. "Do you know what a psychopath is?" he asked. "It's not someone who runs around drooling and slaughtering people. It's someone who can't distinguish between right and wrong, fiction and fact."

Farwell, in other words.

According to my inflight pal (whose name escapes me; I think he teaches at the University of Chicago), Farwell once told a group of professors he could levitate; Farwell's own data on brain fingerprinting contradicts his claims of accuracy; and he has lied about his resume and his clients. Yep, that's right: the supposed inventor of a new lie detector is himself chock full of lies. How fitting, then, that he should wind up in advertising.

Missed Opportunities (Robotic)

Fellow robot-geeks such as myself were no doubt delighted to hear the news that, for the first time, the DARPA Grand Challenge, a 130-mile desert race for autonomous robotic vehicles, was finally won. Stanford's robot-brained VW Toureg, Stanley, took the honors beating out, among other competitors, a brace of Hummers and a 18-ton robot truck.

It's an impressive feat, which is why I don't feel so bad that my entry was, sadly, unrealized, primarily due to lack of funds. So I'll describe it to you:

My Grand Challenge entry is based on a stock Rolls-Royce Silver Shadow (or similar) limo. The limo is controlled by a single laptop placed on the back seat. The laptop issues audio commands stored in a digital format such as MP3 or a WAV file (i.e. "Finish line. And step on it.") to the bio-mechanical interface device placed in the front seat. This is a commercially available component known as a "chauffeur."

I believe that this single laptop, running the audio-command software, could have directed the bio-mechanical interface to pilot the car to an assured victory. If the judges took issue with the use of the interface's eye-based existing video system, I suppose the chauffeur could be blindfolded and a cheap webcam could be connected to the laptop. In this case, some simple image processing software would be used to allow the laptop to play such audio files as "Left!", "Right!", and "Slow down, you insufferable lackwit!"

But, alas, I never had the chance. Maybe next year.

Thurston Howell's Island?

I figured that the repercussions from the eminent domain decision in Kelo would be extreme but I didn't think that they would devolve into parody so quickly. Riviera Beach, Florida is talking about using eminent domain on up to 2,000 homes (6,000 people) to build a yacht club. Once again, life imitates The Onion.

Taxes blah blah jobs blah blah - once again eminent domain is going to be used to take private property from poor people to give it to rich people because it will make things better for, um, the people who happen not to live in the footprint of the new development? The Mayor? I don't know exactly who it is supposed to benefit, but I do know that there is no fucking way that a yacht club is a public fucking service.

(Via Metafilter)

Add Your Own

Responding to Matt's post about local businesses that suck, reader Mark Hurst sent me the URL for this neato site he created: Add Your Own, which is kinda like a Wiki for local restaurant reviews - that is, it allows Brooklynites (and people in other cities) to post comments on local joints and to edit others' comments. The reliance on anonymity has fired up my bullshit detector; at least a few of the comments are no doubt by people affiliated with the restaurants (see, for example, Joya and Cafe Shane) But there are enough credible reviews to make this a helpful site, especially when it comes to sorting through the new places in the 'hood.

Citizen Wal-Mart

So a kid places a tack through a picture of George Bush and photographs his hand making the "thumbs down" sign next to the picture, then sends the film to be developed at Wal-Mart. You may be able to guess what happens next. Wal-Mart flags the photo and calls the police. And the police contact the Secret Service, who show up at school asking questions.

Full story at The Progressive.

(Via Radar)

New from Stay Free! magazine

"The Professional" is a brilliant short story by my buddy Alexandra Ringe. We usually don't run fiction in Stay Free! but for this I made an exception. I had to beg Alexandra and wait over a year for permission to run it, so if you haven't yet had the pleasure, you should read it now with the understanding that a battle was fought and won on your behalf.

Many people have told me this was their favorite thing in the last issue. Others, moved to confusion by the raw reality of Alexandra's prose, have expressed their condolences to the author. So please remember: this is fiction.

Seriously, just sign the summons, kid.

In a comment to an earlier post, Fred von Lohmann of EFF informs us that, after failing in its attempt to sue a technologically illiterate mom, the RIAA has now sued her more tech-savvy kid. The RIAA has requested that the court appoint a guardian ad litem, as anticipated.

Of course the guardian can't be her mother because previous statements by the mother (or her counsel) have created conflicts of interest that make them potential adversaries in the litigation.

So, not only does the RIAA want to undermine their own products, break all of your home electronics, and "cease and desist" art that they don't like, they also want to drive a wedge between parents and their children. Are they approaching "Officially Evil" yet?

Hands on a Shotgun

Patterson Nissan in Longview, Texas, started hosting the annual Hands on a Hardbody contest every year. There's 20 or so contestants who have to keep their hands on a new truck with only 15 minute breaks a couple of times each day. Whoever lasts the longest (and the contest lasts days) wins the truck. You may have seen the documentary, Hands on a Hardbody, which was released in 1997.

This year, two days in to the contest, Ricky Vega, walked away from the truck, into a K-Mart, and shot himself in the head.

If you've seen the movie, you know how intense the contest gets. It's as much a physical challenge as it is psychological. Contestants hallucinate regularly, speak in tongues, and generally crack one at a time. The movie makes pretty clear that most of the contestants are poor and desperate enought to put themselves though such torture in order to win a truck.

The company says the future of the contest has "not been determined at this time." I'm curious how they handled the contest this year. What do you do after one of the contestants shoots themselves?

A Nation of Pedophiles...

While visiting NYC, I read this news article "Woman Ticketed for Sitting on a Playground Bench With No Kids"  A woman got a ticket for disobeying one of those signs I've seen in playgrounds - "adults not admitted without children". These laws are a knee-jerk reaction to highly-publicised child abduction cases. Some attribute this law to living in New York City and/or Mayor Bloomberg, but I've seen these signs in other cities.

Personally, I love going to playgrounds. I'm nearly 40 and I think jungle gyms and swings are fun - relieving the stress of a hard week or reliving carefree childhood days. This law assumes that I'm a pedophile. I guess adults belong in Starbucks, not at a playground.

Hummer's "First Day"

First saw this commercial awhile ago, but watching it on the Hummer web site gave me the heebie-jeebies all over again. First of all, there's the spot's implicit message: Drive a Hummer and make your child (whether or not he resembles James Spader) cool. Or, Drive a Hummer, and your little geek doesn't get beat up.

Then there's the low, soothing modulation of the mother's voice. Couple that with her appearance -- carefully mussed-up blonde hair, angular features -- and I can almost detect something Oedipal going on.

Medication vs. Meditation

Apparently I have some kind of medical condition called "restless mind."

I lay awake in bed at night.  My mind wanders, sometimes for hours, and I don't sleep.  I think about what happened that day, what I will do tomorrow, the past.  Sometimes my mind just runs full speed going nowhere, but more often it's helpful (the concept for my last gallery show came to me just as I was going to sleep).  In fact, I find these times are when I am at my most creative.

Finally, there's a drug to make this go away.  I learned about it last night on TV.  It's called Lunestra.  It's touted as a prescription sleep aid for people with "restless minds." 

Ok, I should admit: my wife would tell you I do have a small problem.  She complains when I flick the light on while she's sleeping so I can make some notes about a great idea.  Or when I roll over an hour later, waking her again to ask about a concept I've come up with.  But we've learned to manage, especially after I began studying buddhist meditation.  (By the way, did I mention I'm one of the few folks on SF! Daily that lives in California?)

I don't claim to be an expert but from my understanding the "restless mind" is at the core of buddhist psychology.  A "restless mind" is the nature of man.  We all almost constantly think of the past and the future instead of being in the present.  Learning to balance, concentrate, and quiet your mind comes through the practice of meditation.  You don't have to ask your doctor if meditation is right for you, and it's entirely free.  It works for me!

In my opinion, Lunestra is attempting to medicate a "problem" that is at the core of being a human.  Not to mention that a solution was discovered around 500 BC is in use by millions of people around the world, without profits or chemicals.

Is this as obvious as I think it is or am I just too deep in the bubble that surrounds Berkeley, California?

We're all crazy now

It's been a while since I've seen anything about the Bush administration's drive to screen the masses for mental illness, so I was glad to come across this British Medical Journal article:

The parents of an Indiana teenager have filed a suit in a federal court in the state's Northern District, charging that school officials violated their privacy rights and parental rights by subjecting their daughter to a mental health screening examination without their permission. [...]

The complaint, filed on 19 September, charges that in December 2004 Chelsea Rhoades, then a 15 year old student at Penn High School, Mishawaka, was told she had obsessive compulsive disorder and social anxiety disorder after she took the TeenScreen examination. Chelsea has spoken out against the screening and, with her parents, alleges in the complaint that "a majority" of the students "subjected to TeenScreen" with her were also told they had "some mental or psychological disorder."  [...]

Columbia University's TeenScreen, which urges "universal" voluntary screening for all teenagers, has come under fire for offering free cinema passes and other inducements to teenagers in the hope of encouraging them to return parental consent forms. The programme has also been criticised by the Rutherford Institute, a non-profit civil liberties organisation, for using "passive consent," in which only parents who do not want to have their children screened have to sign a form and send it in to the school. If the school does not receive a form, it is assumed that the parents do not object.

I've already stated my concerns about coercive mental health screening, which the uninitiated can find here and here.

(Via American Iatrogenic Asso.)

Who's your mommy

Remember the credit card prank we blogged about back when? Well, the same guy has come up with another entertaining way to publicize holes in credit card security. This time around, John Hargrave calls Visa and, when asked for his mother's maiden name, gives an unintelligible response - but the customer service rep pretends he got it right and gives him his account info anyway! The rep even tells him the correct maiden name!

This call is the third (and best) in a series; I couldn't listen to the other two the whole way through because Hargrave is pretty hard to bear in those. (The first call is enough to make you feel sorry for Visa's rep, though he too erred.)

Damned if you do

A recent study has found that doing drugs and having sex can lead to teen depression.

In related news, a longitudinal study of one teenager growing up in Queens proved that a lack of sex and drugs also leads to depression. The subject and author of the study is currently seeking a grant to try and find out if the findings can be duplicated in a larger sample.

Since it now seems that having sex and not having sex can lead to depression, maybe the one in five is actually a low estimate of teen psychological disorders.

(Via World of Psychology)

Shiny happy people

If you see one fake movie trailer this year, make it this remix of The Shining.

Everything in this is copyrighted, but it should fall under fair use (except, perhaps, the music). It is both a satire (of movie trailers) and a parody (of the original movie). It is brilliant because it shows how selected clips from a movie can tell any story the editor wants to tell. It is important because it provides an example of how art can be transformed into new original works. Mostly, though, it is just hilarious. Enjoy.

(Via Andrew Hearst)