Got a blog tip? Contact us

« November 2005 | Main | January 2006 »

Stay Free's Best of 2005

Hell, everyone else is doing it so we will too. Here are a few of the best - or, at least, most popular - Stay Free! posts and articles from the past year.

An Inquiry into the Effects of Preservatives in McDonald's Food, or, What Does the Fungus Know That You Don't?
Our at-home test of the difference between McDonald's and local fast food.

How Did Mad Hot Ballroom Survive the Copyright Cartel?
An interview with documentary producer Amy Sewell

The Freaky Universe of McDonald's Advertising
A video history by Tim Harrod (from our magazine)

Radio Free Clear Channel
The media giant tries to set up a fake pirate radio station

Hiking through Manhattan
Stay Free! talks a walk on New York's deserted Highline

American Science, R.I.P.
Inspired by the "American Science" series of U.S. postage stamps, we created parody stamps that look just like the real thing - only featuring God, Bush, and Rick Santorum, and William Jennings Bryant in place of the scientists. Download 'em, print 'em in color, and scare your friends.

Meet me before first period
Procter & Gamble's launches pre-menstrual tampons; a spoof by our man Torchinsky

Taking the permission society seriously
Carrie asks the copyright authorities for permission to sing "Happy birthday" to her father

Does watching TV make you stupid?
A review of Stephen Johnson's overhyped nonsense

Malcolm Gladwell
Carrie's rant about the latest book I haven't read, Malcolm Gladwell's BLINK

Advertise on my colon!
A thoughtful response to eBay "human" ad auctions

Can't a gay Batman get a break?
DC Comics goes after painter Mark Chamberlain

Sucking on the tit of McDonald's
An actual ad from McDonald's ad agency in Austria

This Month in New York City Critical Mass OR How Much Does It Cost the City to Run One of Those Police Copters All Night?
Matt Ransford recounts a Critical Mass ride in April

George Jetson gets a present from Dove
Charles Star notices that a new ad campaign makes more than your hair look fuller

Never too young to look younger

I remember the first time I felt old. It was 1989 and 17 year old Michael Chang had just won the French Open. I suddenly realized that I was 18 and had accomplished nothing. Fortunately my natural laziness prevented me from doing anything drastic like, say, trying to accomplish something.

I suppose feeling old when young is pretty common, but doing nothing about it may not be. The AP reports that there is a surprising trend among today's twentysomethings to use anti-aging products and wrinkle treatments. Alas, although the truth hurts, these kids have the right idea.

Maria Esther de Capovilla started using Oil of Olay at 17 and today she doesn't look a day over 95.

Tchai-cough!-sky

From reading my occasional posts here, you might get the sense I spend the bulk of my time watching TV, eating pizza, and reading Friendster messages from imaginary Russian women. And that's basically the truth. But I do have my "classy" moments. Last night, for example, I took in an evening with the New York Philharmonic. (OK, OK, a friend who was leaving town gave me her tickets, but still.)

The jeans-wearing friend who accompanied me wondered if she was underdressed. I was able to assure her that all was fine, as soon as I noticed a gentleman in the front row sporting a Lou Piniella jersey.

But my purpose today is to open up a discussion with those of you more familiar than I am with classical music performances. Specifically: What is the mad obsession with coughing?!?

In the Playbill, in the User's Guide to the New York Philharmonic, there is a "Quiet, Please" subsection. It states, "We offer you cough drops during winter-month concerts. Please help yourself—helping you feel better, and helping us all to be a quieter audience. Natural Her Cough Drops—Courtesy of Ricola USA, Inc."

OK, fair enough. An attentive, quiet audience is always appreciated. Here's the kicker, though. The music starts up (Weber's Bassoon Concerto, followed by Tchaikovsky's Violin Concerto and Silbelius's Symphony No. 5). We reach a pause at the end of the first movement, and my friend whispers that applause should be held until the end of the entire piece. Applause was the only noise held, however. The audience took the opportunity to cough, hack, clear throats, blow noses, and emit inhuman grunts. From every corner of Avery Fisher Hall arose a repulsive symphony.

Is it psychological? Since we are allowed to cough during that brief window, we must cough? Certainly they weren't collectively holding in coughs for 15-minute stretches? It was surreal. It was gross.

On a completely different topic, and more rhetorically: Of all those Eastern European who write to me on Friendster, how come it has not once been guest violinist Julia Fischer?

Panexa interview

Gelf Magazine is running an interview with me regarding Panexa, our drug ad parody. Jason Torchinsky actually wrote the text of the ad - and I don't mean to steal his thunder - but he was unavailable due to a death in his family. (It's hard to lose a parent, so send Jason some love, okay?)

Jews Gone Wild!

And they say the Jews are repressed. Sunday's New York Times had this advertisement for JDate - apparently, your source for kosher three-way action.

Happy Holidays, indeed.

Suddenly Panexa doesn't sound so bad

It apparently isn't enough for the pharmaceutical industry to price drugs so high that people in impoverished countries can't afford them. The high prices inevitably result in the production and sale of dangerous fakes, so the drug companies actively suppress the information.

Drug companies collect information about fakes but hide their dirty laundry behind trade secrets claims and PR. The American Prospect's chilling account of Glaxo SmithKline's malfeasance in connection with the trade in counterfeit Halfan (an anti-malarial) in Africa includes more corporate double-speak, denial of responsibility, "misplacement" of records and manufactured excuses than you would think could fit in a single article. The death toll from BigPharma's refusal to publicize and prevent the sale of diluted or fake drugs may never be known but is clearly quite high.

As is often the case, I'm horrified but not surprised that this is going on in the Third World because it is going on right here. In 2002, Kansas City pharmacist Robert Courtney was sentenced to 30 years in prison for diluting the cancer drugs Taxol and Gemzar, killing 17 and injuring many more. Bristol-Myers Squibb and Eli Lilly both settled civil cases arising out of Courtney's prosecution because BMS and Lilly both had records that showed that Courtney sold three times as much of those drugs as he purchased. Both companies denied any responsibility, of course.

On the other hand, chimps can be quite charming

According to The Scotsman, Josef Stalin tried to create a race of "super warriors" by cross breeding people with apes.

[E]xperiments [in West Africa to impregnate chimpanzees] ... were a total failure. [The program director] returned to the Soviet Union, only to see experiments in Georgia to use monkey sperm in human volunteers similarly fail.

I may not be an expert on Stalin's Soviet Union, but am I the only person who thinks that the Scotsman is using the phrase "human volunteers" a little loosely here?

(Via Monkeywire)

More Postcards from Hawaii

I am back in Hawaii again visiting the in-laws for the holidays.  When Cynthia and I were here last September we came across some weird signs and flyers.  (And yes, the Polaroid of the $9,999 rock is currently framed and in our dining room at home.) 

Last week we were in Honolulu and came across this brilliant flyer:

How long before they figured out they needed to add "the band" to the flyer?  How many shows with angry crowds yelling "We want Arsenio!  Get off the stage!"

The closer you look at this thing, the better it gets. I'd like to imagine that DJ Sounds and Lighting is an actual person.   Imagine, over the speakers in a dark club you hear, "Ladies and gentlemen, make some noise for DJ Sounds and Lighting!"

Happy Chanukkah, Merry Christmas, and all that.

Clear Channel: truth in broadcasting?

You've got to love Clear Channel. Ever the trend-setter, the company has started selling naming rights to the newsrooms of some of its radio stations. Come January, listeners of WIBA-AM in Madison, Wisc., will begin hearing reports from the Amcore Bank News Center, while WISN-AM in Milwaukee offers reports from the PyraMax Bank News Center (and has, in fact, for the past two years).

With corporations sponsoring everything from city parks to school gymnasiums these days, this move should come as no surprise. But I don't know whether to blast Clear Channel or thank them. I mean, hey, as long as you're going to sell out your newsroom you might as well be upfront about it. And when it comes to shameless grabs for cash, I much prefer this to launching bogus pirate radio stations and pretending to have local DJs.

(Via Center for Media & Democracy)

Documentary films and fair use

If you read our interview with the Mad Hot Ballroom producer last summer, you already know the kinds of things documentary filmmakers have to deal with to clear the copyrighted works in their films. With the movie industry refusing to acknowledge the role fair use can and should play in filmmaking, the situation has been looking pretty grim. Fortunately, the Center for Social Media has stepped up to help right this wrong by releasing the Documentary Filmmakers’ Statement on Best Practices in Fair Use - a simple, straightforward guide for filmmakers.

Some Senseless Holiday Cheer - Violence

Santa Claus' Punch and Judy (1948)
Here's a wonderful little film from the AV Geeks archive where Santa magically creates a Punch and Judy puppet show to the delight of children at a Christmas party. Those of you not aware of a Punch and Judy show may be shocked (delighted) by the violence and decidedly non-PC puppet behavior.

Click to watch a streaming MPEG-4 (requires Quicktime or VLAN)

Enjoy!

How Hip Health Plan helps breed superbugs

I realize that tales of HMO ripoffs are a dime a dozen but I have to vent:

After two weeks of suffering through my annual bout of sinusitis/tonsilitis, I recently buckled and talked to my doctor about getting some antibiotics. I asked for Augmentin - it's worked well for me in the past... and that's what he prescribed: a 14-day supply of Augmentin XR 1000 MG.

When I go to pick up my meds, the pharmacist informs me that my insurer - HIP - will only authorize a 10-day supply at one time. In order to get the remaining pills, I'll have to wait until I finish the first batch and come back again. Why on earth does HIP have such a policy? Is the drug not approved for the formulary? Nope, it's there. Is 10 days the standard dosage? No, the standard dosage is either 14 or 28 days.

No, the reason HIP covers less than a full supply is Because it wants two co-payments out of me. At $30 each, that makes the drug $60. This not only makes the drug unduly expensive, but  it encourages patients not to take their full course of antibiotics.... which, if you know anything about antibiotics, is dangerous from a public health perspective, because it can lead to drug-resistant bacteria.

Anyway, I plan on calling HIP to complain - as soon as its member phone line is up and working.

CORRECTION 12/26/05: It turns out that the pharmacist was wrong and that Augmentin is typically prescribed for 10 days. Still annoying, but not nearly as unreasonable. Thanks to commenter Michael.

I think Google laughs behind my back…

...every time it offers, "Did you mean: [different spelling of what you were searching for]"

And then still doesn't have any results.

My Rejection Line discovery

I recently interviewed social networking guru (and friend of Stay Free!) Jonah Peretti for the upcoming issue of the magazine. In doing background research, I came across the website for Jonah's Rejection Line, a phone number he and his sister Chelsea set up that you can give out to people who hit on you, to get them to go away (212-479-7990). The answering messages are pretty funny... but the reason I'm bringing this up is because one section of the site has recordings that people who have been rejected leave on on the voicemail. And there's one message in particular - an inscrutable rant by an angry suitor - that really struck me. When I heard it I thought, "Where have I heard that voice before?" And then it hit me - Victor the Budgie! (See conversations like this one.)

My last name is Rosoft

Most people give up when caught red-handed. Others engage in embarrassing hair-splitting sophistry to excuse their actions. New Bergerber Man: Domain Defenses from the WIPO Archives is concerned with the latter; the site catalogs the horrible defenses used by domain-name squatters.

Author Kevin Shay keeps the excerpts of the indefensible defenses short and links to the full decisions (for the legally inclined). He took the name of the his site from an archetypal case:

Respondent [claims that] without any prior knowledge of Complainant’s trademark [("Neuberger Berman"), he] invented the name New Bergerber Man in a story he wrote with hopes of turning it into a movie. He contends he plans to use the domain name for the movie.

These staggering examples of chutzpah are sorted by defense type and amusing as hell.

(Via Daniel Radosh)

One more reason to hate cheerleaders

"Cheerleaders have many qualities the drug industry looks for in its sales force."

There's nothing like seeing your prejudices confirmed, so it was a joy to come across this story validating a deep, dark suspicion of mine dating back to high school: cheerleaders are products of the dark side. The proof? They're the top recruits for pharmaceutical sales rep jobs:

T. Lynn Williamson, ...cheering adviser at Kentucky, says he regularly gets calls from recruiters looking for talent, mainly from pharmaceutical companies. "They watch to see who's graduating," he said.

"They don't ask what the major is," Williamson added. Proven cheerleading skills suffice. "Exaggerated motions, exaggerated smiles, exaggerated enthusiasm — they learn those things, and they can get people to do what they want."

In fact,  so many cheerleaders move onto pharma sales that there's even a recruiting company focused on placing them: Spirited Sales Leaders.

Why cheerleaders? According to Spirited Sales Leaders, cheerleaders "possess all of the qualities you need to transform your staff into a successful sales team." In other words, they are young, buff, and jiggly.

The TAP Pharmaceutical saleswoman says it is partly her local celebrity that gives her a professional edge. On the University of Kentucky cheering squad, [she] stood out for her long dark hair and a tiny physique that landed her atop many human pyramids.

"If I have a customer who is a real big UK fan, we'll have stories to tell each other," [she] said. "If they can remember me as 'the cheerleader — she has Prevacid,' it just allows you do to so many things."

Consumerist

Blog kingpin Nick Denton has added a new site to his roster. Kinda like a cross between Consumer Reports, Lucky, and (I dare say) Stay Free!, Consumerist offers shopping tips alongside critiques of corporate malfeasance and tales of customer service gone awry.

The politics of feeding tubes

Since the Terry Schiavo debacle, it's been a while since I've seen anything about feeding tubes. But this (interesting!) article points out that feeding tubes are increasingly embraced by institutions caring for the elderly -- even though they do almost nothing to help them (unless you consider extending the period in which dying people lay breathing "help").

Of course, you could blame the increasing use of feeding tubes on crazed right-to-lifers. But, as the article makes clear, the real source of the feeding tube's spread is money.

According to the Wall Street Journal, the "widening use of feeding tubes has been driven by market forces, the aging population, fear of liability and economic inducements tied to insurance payments." In other words, market forces, the aging population, market forces, and market forces.

Which is to say that feeding dying seniors via tube is a lot easier and cheaper than hand-feeding them. Hand-feeding takes a nurses' aid too much time; plus, institutions can get a lot more money from Medicare and other insurance when they put tubes in.

Park-ing Spot

Rebar, a group from San Francisco, has done what I have wanted to do for years - turn a downtown parking spot into a park.  It's like Reclaim the Streets, but not as loud.  I say I've wanted to turn a parking spot into a park (but I guess I didn't want it enough to actually get it done).  So, Kudos to Rebar.  Even if it only existed for 2 hours.  Now who's going to do the permanent guerilla install?

Free magazines!

UPDATE 12/12: Whoops. I meant to say that issue #24 is the one we're giving away. Not #23 or #21. I do have some extra copies of #22, though.

It's more or less official: After nearly 10 years in Park Slope, Stay Free! will be moving to Prospect Lefferts Gardens. For the uninitiated, Lefferts Gardens is the neighborhood on the east side of Prospect Park (Park Slope is on the west) - the only side of the park that isn't yet completely gentrified (though we'll do our part).

The move is not until February, so I have over a month to get the piles of stuff in my apt. To that end, I need to find happy homes for the remaining boxes of Stay Free! #23 #24 (latest issue).

If you think you could find a use for big stack of magazines (student center? local cafe? nonprofit group?), please let me know: stay.free (at) verizon.net. For those outside the New York area, I'd really appreciate it if you could cover the shipping. (A box of 120 copies will be about $15; I can't send smaller boxes 'cos I don't have 'em.) If you are in New York and want to stop by HQ, you can take as many or as few copies as you like, gratis.... and I've got extra copies of #21 #22, too.

Thank you, thank you.

Watch Out for Spam

A lovely thing about the holiday season: The spam is less lurid. Of the 103 messages that ended up in my office spam filter this week, 37 were about wristwatches.

A Toothless Argument?

When I'm not reading the Stay Free! blog, I spend some online time with an old favorite band, the dB's, often on their messageboard. Webmaster Jake is vigilant about deleting spam comments as soon as they're posted. (And now, as a safety measure, randomly-generated text must be typed into a box before a message is posted.) But on September 27, the following message appeared:

good deal this holiday season

If you like to travel and are looking for a good deal this holiday season, check out www.polident.com. The promotion they are running offers free companion airfare if you buy 5 specially marked boxes. Btw, some restrictions do supply, I’m working on this promotion on behalf of GSK, feel free to get all the details at www.polident.com

Several folks jokingly replied to the post (the dB's aren't young, but the fanbase has most of their own teeth, etc.), and Jake apologized for letting the spam slip through. I contacted Polident's customer service, explained what happened, and provided the email address which posted the message. I received this reply:

Dear Mr. Silbert,

We have received your e-mail message regarding Polident® Denture Cleanser.

We have no idea why the information showed up on that website as “spam”. This is a valid offer that does not even require a computer in order to qualify.

We appreciate your taking the time to contact us.

Sincerely,

Sharon
GlaxoSmithKline Consumer Healthcare

Case # 2259489

That was all until yesterday, when a very similar post appeared. Jake quickly deleted it, and I once again contacted Polident. Sharon was still on the case, but with a brazen new admission:

Dear Mr. Silbert,

We have received your e-mail message regarding Polident® Denture Cleanser.

We do have a promotional agency that is spreading the word about our promotion in chat rooms and message boards in order to promote the Companion Airfare offer. We are NOT doing any SPAM as we are not sending this information to anyone’s individual email addresses.

We appreciate your taking the time to contact us.

Sincerely,

Sharon
GlaxoSmithKline Consumer Healthcare

Case # 2259489

OK, according to Merriam-Webster Online, Sharon is correct. It's not e-mail, so it's not spam. But it is unsolicited, unwanted, and the dB's certainly haven't received any payment. So I open this up to the chat-savvy Stay Free! crowd: Have you seen other examples of this seemingly nefarious method? Are there regulations against it? If not, what steps can we take? I suppose we could begin by brushing and flossing regularly to whittle down Polident's future customer base....

freeBook

Friend of Stay Free! Francis Heaney knows that the best advertising for his hilarious book is, well, his book. Lacking confidence that he will get much play in traditional advertising channels, he and his publisher are issuing Holy Tango of Literature as a free eBook. It is currently in two formats (Palm and web-readable), but he'll convert it to whatever you want. Seriously. The eBook is covered by a Creative Commons license, so share it freely. A brief explanation of the book, and my favorite poem, is below the fold.

The premise of Holy Tango is: "What if famous poets wrote poems whose titles were anagrams of their names." He also extends the idea to longer forms, such as a 2001: A Space Oddysey parody in the style of David Mamet - "Dammit, Dave" - but this remains my favorite:

I Will Alarm Islamic Owls
by William Carlos Williams

I will be alarming
the Islamic owls
that are in
the barn

and which
you warned me
are very jittery
and susceptible to loud noises

Forgive me
they see so well in the dark
so feathery
and so dedicated to Allah

Ghoulgle

I usually don't notice, much less mind, the ads that run in the sidebar on Gmail, but today I got ads that were just downright creepy.

I wrote to some friends to offer condolences to on the loss of their grandmother. The emails that they wrote back thanking me had this in the sidebar:

Sympathy cards at Crane's
Free shipping on orders over $75. Quality stationery & unique gifts.

24/7 Condolence Telegrams
Dictated, Delivered, Bill to Phone Call or Order 24/7 Same & Next Day

1-800-PriorityTelegram.com
Meaningful Sympathy Gifts Specializing in unique gifts that provide comfort and healing www.acknowledgements.net

Cherish your loved one

Create memorial site. Life story, tributes, photos, video and candles www.memory-of.com

One of my mourning friends was writing from a gmail account. I suppose he needed targeted advertising too.

Starbucks Challenge

Stay Free! copyeditor in the field Siel (aka Green LA Girl) has launched an effort to call Starbucks on its b.s. As you may (or not) know, Starbucks widely advertises the fact that it sells fair-trade coffee, but whenever customers try to order fair-trade in many stores, they are turned down. So Siel posed this challenge to the readers of her blog:

1. Visit a Starbucks and ask: "Could I get a cup of fair trade coffee?"
2. Tell us what happens. Was it hard or easy to get a cup?

And I'll personally add a #3. to the above: If the Starbucks barista says she is indeed able to sell you a cup, say, "Thank you very much," then run for the door. (And go back to 2.)

Lest you think blogger efforts like this have no effect, the Starbucks Challenge has already elicited a response - with promises to change - from the company. So if you take the challenge yourself, make sure to let Siel know the results. And, while you're at it, you can also sign her letter to the company.

Did you hear the one about the Benetton boycott?

... than wear clothes with RFID chips. Boycott Benetton's not-so-subtle jab at PETA?

While spell-checking "Benetton" for one of my web clients, I had the good fortune of coming across Boycott Benetton, a site run by a group of activists we wrote about a couple of months ago: CASPIAN, or Consumers Against Supermarket Privacy Invasion and Numbering.

Apparently, two years ago, Benetton was using radio-frequency id (RFID) chips in their clothing. The chips are ostensibly used to streamline distribution and keep track of inventory (Wal-Mart and other companies use 'em too). But CASPIAN raised concerns that the chips' application would be expanded - that they would be used to track Benetton consumers long after they make their purchases and leave the store.

Alas, after CASPIAN launched its boycott in 2003, Benetton quickly retreated. Score one for the home team.

Prison stripes scan in as $19.99

I hope anyone who read our previous post about how easy it is to fake barcodes didn't take it as an endorsement to steal. It is the kind of thing that can get you in a lot of trouble. Just ask Jonathan Baldino, who was arrested in Boulder for using a $4.99 barcode to buy a pair of $150 iPod speakers at Target. You might want to laugh about getting busted for something so stupid, but I ask that you don't.

Instead, save your laughter for his written confession.

(Story and image via The Smoking Gun)

Sleeping with the enemy

The eminent domain question still looms large over Ratner's Atlantic Yards development for the Nets' arena. Curiously, while the strongest opposition to Kelo, the Supreme Court's recent pro-eminent domain decision comes from the right, opposition in Brooklyn is largely from the left.

Immediately after the decision, the otherwise wacky Senator John Cornyn (R - TX) proposed legislation that would prevent local governments from receiving any federal money if they use eminent domain to seize property for use in a private development. While I was slow to notice it, his bill passed the House last month. The House vote follows legislation in Alabama and Texas that forbid the use of eminent domain for private development. There are similar laws in the pipeline all over the country.

The separate motivations of the opposition have led to strange bedfellows in the opposition to Kelo. Conservative opposition stems from a combination of private property fetish and preference for limited governemnt. Liberals aren't as concerned with a proactive government or progressive redistribution, but they have a strong distrust of government collusion with private corporations. In fact, those who favor Kelo-type solutions tend to come from the left. When eminent domain is used to seize land from a corporation that is letting it sit fallow (or worse, into objective disrepair) for, say, public housing, the left is much less likely to complain.

I hate to say it, but I think the folks opposing Kelo are going to have to cast their lot with the conservatives.