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Shots Were Fired. Wackiness Ensued.

I love me some wacky news, take for example Mike Pingree's Through the Looking Glass, featured in the Brooklyn Downtown Star. The February 2 issue of the Star included these four stories (emphasis mine):

Should They All Have Lawyers, Too?: A Montana judge ruled that, when dealing with multiple personalities, police must inform, not only the suspect, but each of his personalities of his rights against self-incrimination.

You Get What You Pay For: A man hired to kill a business rival in London made a mistake on the address and shot the intended victim's next door neighbor instead. Court testimony revealed that the man's fee was $160 and a used car.

We Have a Good Idea Who Did This: A man stole two surveillance cameras from a laundromat in Delhi, Calif., unaware that he was being filmed right up to the point that he disconnected them. "On the tape, he comes up to one camera and there's a perfect face shot as he grabs the camera," said one cop.

If I Can't Have Her No One Can!: After a couple in Saudi Arabia divorced, one of the ex-husband's relatives started courting the woman, despite being warned not to by the ex. The relative ignored him and ultimately married her. So the ex-husband went to a mosque where his replacement was praying and opened fire with a machine gun, wounding him and six other people.

Nothing funnier than a shooting spree! Those wacky Muslims!

For want of a link, the tone-deaf "humor" continues below the fold.

Don't Come Any Closer, Bang! Ouch!: A man robbed a bank in Port Royal, Va., and ran outside to his getaway car, when he discovered he had locked the keys inside. He frantically smashed in the window with a piece of wood, but this attracted the attention of passers-by who gave chase. He turned to shoot them, but accidentally shot himself in the leg.

I Beg Your Pardon, Sir!: A 67-year-old man unexpectedly French-kissed a woman sitting next to him in a hospital emergency room in Brisbane, Australia. He was arrested.

You're Not Going to Like This, Paolo: Brazil has repealed a 1916 law that allowed a groom to throw his bride out if he found out that she was not a virgin when he married her.

Hey, This Stuff Looks Familiar: A man in New Zealand robbed a house in the same neighborhood [sic] and then proceeded to sell the stolen items at a yard sale at his own home. The victim happened by and, after a lively discussion, called the police.