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It's not illegal to drink urine, is it?

If I were to find out that someone I knew drinks urine, I think I'd be fairly creeped out and would make a mental note not to share a beer with them, but I don't think I'd call the cops. But that seems to be what happened to this poor loon.

Now, I freely admit that waiting until young boys pee in a urinal and then collecting it and drinking it is about as cringe-and grimace-worthy an activity as I can think of, but why exactly was this guy arrested? The urine was discarded by the boys when it streamed out of their meatuses, so I don't think it's theft, and he thankfully never touched or approached the boys, according to the article, so, really, why arrest this guy? It seems he was once a convicted sexual predator but that was 13 years ago, and I think you still have to do soemething illegal to get arrested, right?

Granted, he does seem like a very disturbed man and his science (drinking young boy's urine will some how impart some of their youth) is pretty suspect, but as far as I can tell, he did nothing illegal. Again, this is not a guy I'd want to go boating with, but I've always thought that one of the greatest joys about being an American would be that if I really had a hankering, I could chug a nice toasty glass of pee without reprisals.

Maybe they'll do some research and find out this guy was born in 1855. Then we'll be bottling that youthful pee.

Happy Presidents' Year!

Monday is Presidents' Day. Many of you won't have to work or go to school. A few of you might actually participate in an event that honors one or more U.S. Presidents. And two of you are moving to a neighborhood I've never heard of.

Now, I can readily accept someone referring to "Presidents' Day Weekend." We are fond of three-day weekends. But I keep seeing ads that mention Presidents' Week. And today I heard a car commercial talking about Presidents' Month. No no no no no no no. First of all, a very prominent group already has dibs on February. But also, I assure you, Presidents' Day is one day long. On Tuesday, mail a letter. Enter a bank. You will succeed. Though perhaps not in Bangladesh, where it is Shaheed Day.

Stay Free! is moving. Seriously. (Or, Goodbye 390 Butler, part II)

I feel like I've been planning on moving, talking about moving, and packing for moving forever... but now it's finally happening. This weekend, Stay Free! and I are leaving Park Slope for Prospect Lefferts. For those keeping track, my stay.free@verizon.net email will no longer work, but you can reach me here.

And now I'm going to indulge myself in posting a few more of the pictures that I kept papered on the bathroom walls for the past 10 or so years.

The Harvard Lampoon created an entire magazine parodying LIFE in the 1960s (I think), which is where I got this awesome photo.

I clipped this out of an old Ladies Home Journal, thinking I'd use these pies on a client's web site. Some day, maybe.

Clipped from Advertising Age.

M&M/Mars has gotten a lot of recent media coverage for its purportedly scientific studies showing that chocolate is good for your heart... but M&M/Mars has been making misleading health claims about chocolate for years. Here is a copy of flyer they sent out to millions of public school children.

When I worked at Matador Records, I thought it'd be funny to do a fake socially responsible marketing campaign, so I made this sign and then went around town and asked random people to pose with it. This photo was my favorite.

Here I am in the bathroom of the Matador office, circa 1998, demonstrating nasal irrigation.

Google China's media literacy lesson

If you haven't kept up with the news about Google censoring itself in China, these side-by-side screen shots are worth the proverbial thousand words (or should it be two thousand?).

Or see for yourself by doing a Google Image search for "tiananmen" here in the U.S. verses Google in China.

(Thanks to Mat Honan)

Shots Were Fired. Wackiness Ensued.

I love me some wacky news, take for example Mike Pingree's Through the Looking Glass, featured in the Brooklyn Downtown Star. The February 2 issue of the Star included these four stories (emphasis mine):

Should They All Have Lawyers, Too?: A Montana judge ruled that, when dealing with multiple personalities, police must inform, not only the suspect, but each of his personalities of his rights against self-incrimination.

You Get What You Pay For: A man hired to kill a business rival in London made a mistake on the address and shot the intended victim's next door neighbor instead. Court testimony revealed that the man's fee was $160 and a used car.

We Have a Good Idea Who Did This: A man stole two surveillance cameras from a laundromat in Delhi, Calif., unaware that he was being filmed right up to the point that he disconnected them. "On the tape, he comes up to one camera and there's a perfect face shot as he grabs the camera," said one cop.

If I Can't Have Her No One Can!: After a couple in Saudi Arabia divorced, one of the ex-husband's relatives started courting the woman, despite being warned not to by the ex. The relative ignored him and ultimately married her. So the ex-husband went to a mosque where his replacement was praying and opened fire with a machine gun, wounding him and six other people.

Nothing funnier than a shooting spree! Those wacky Muslims!

For want of a link, the tone-deaf "humor" continues below the fold.

Don't Come Any Closer, Bang! Ouch!: A man robbed a bank in Port Royal, Va., and ran outside to his getaway car, when he discovered he had locked the keys inside. He frantically smashed in the window with a piece of wood, but this attracted the attention of passers-by who gave chase. He turned to shoot them, but accidentally shot himself in the leg.

I Beg Your Pardon, Sir!: A 67-year-old man unexpectedly French-kissed a woman sitting next to him in a hospital emergency room in Brisbane, Australia. He was arrested.

You're Not Going to Like This, Paolo: Brazil has repealed a 1916 law that allowed a groom to throw his bride out if he found out that she was not a virgin when he married her.

Hey, This Stuff Looks Familiar: A man in New Zealand robbed a house in the same neighborhood [sic] and then proceeded to sell the stolen items at a yard sale at his own home. The victim happened by and, after a lively discussion, called the police.

Can any sex sell anything?

It is important to remember when looking at this UK ad for toothpaste that even if your mother is beautiful, there is nothing sexy about her. Then remember that it isn't actually her son. And his smile is really creepy.

Thank you Beverly Hills Formula, for all of the uncomfortable sexuality of The Tin Drum with none of the literary, artistic or intellectual merit. (Via adland)

And while we are on the subject of the gratuitous use of sex to sell unsexy products, take a look at these French ads for cheese. (Via Consumerist)

I'll be back in a minute. I have to go find more ads with European women wearing less clothing than they should. For the good of the country, of course.

Outlaws on the trains

In case you were worried how they are enforcing the new train behavior regulations, perhaps my morning commute will be instructive.

When I got on the 3 at Eastern Parkway, there was a cop in my car. In plain view of the officer, I held open the door for people who heard the *bing-bong* rushing to make the train. Then a guy crossed in front of the cop to walk in-between cars. A woman got on the train drinking coffee. Another woman was taking up two seats by sitting with her legs akimbo. There was nobody sitting in the priority seating next to the cop, but I chose to stand and stare hatefully at the two-seat woman because I didn't feel like walking the length of the car to test that one last rule. Also, I was carrying a jerry-built thermonuclear device.

Nobody said a thing.

Brooklyn, melting pot

I stopped in at El Gran Castillo de Jagua, a Spanish joint on the corner of Flatbush and Park, for some roast pork with rice and beans. Along with the napkins and plasticware they always toss in a hunk of bread, usually the same bread they use to make Cubanos or any other pressed sandwich. Last night it was half of a plain bagel. Oy.

Leave the jokes to me

According to some journal, men find a sense of humor in women a huge turnoff. I would be more specific, and possibly offer a quote or two from the article, but the idiots at The Independent have decided that 48 hours is enough time to keep an article online for free. (The [Racine, WI] Journal Times, more generous with their archives, has an article about the study here.)

Suffice it to say that I don't dispute the conclusion of the study. It's why I insist that Carrie only post articles like this.