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Return to the Appelation Trail

A few years back I wrote an article about my evil, right-wing doppelgänger, another Jason Torchinsky.

As I mention in my old article, 'Jason Torchinsky' is an unusual name, so when another one comes along, it's a big deal. At least to me. And, when that other one is a fairly weasely wingnut who's involved in underhanded vote-supression campaigns, it becomes an even bigger deal.

See, I've worked hard to insure that the name "Jason Torchinsky" conjures up that special mix of quality products, whimsey, and idiocy which we all crave. So when there's another entity out there abusing the 'Jason Torchinsky' name and reputation, I need to take action.

I offered this pretender the opportunity to pick an entirely new name out of the phone book, on me. Any one he wants. I never recieved an answer. I was fair. I sent a warning letter, I was born first, and have done more to promote the name than he had. Now I'm done with fair, since 'fair' doesn't really seem to be a concept this yutz respects, based on his current employ and works. So I'm asking you, dear internet, to please help me enforce my name's rights.

We need to decide on a new name for the former alternate 'Jason Torchinsky'. His middle name is "Brett", so, ostensibly he could go by "J. Brett Torchinsky." But I'm not crazy about his use of "Torchinsky" at all, frankly. Ever since my great-grandfather Torchinsky stole his tugboat and beat it across the Black Sea to avoid the Czar's conscription, the Torchinsky name has been associated with a healthy dose of defiance and a certain anti-establishment quality. And perhaps tugboat larceny, none of which J.Brett Torchinsky seems interested in.

I could pick something nice and juvenile, like Chockfull Dampdiapers or Dorkworth McNumbnuts, but I'm not certain I need to go that route. Yet. So, I'm open to suggestions. And, I'd like to request that anyone who encounters this person online please, if at all possible, make it clear that this is not, in fact, Jason Torchinsky.

I appreciate your help. I eagerly await your suggestions and advice.