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New York's Rules on Behavior

In the wake of 9/11, the New York subway system instituted a number of security rules—random bag checks, essentially—to the mostly unenforced safety and courtesy rules. Because random bag checks are only going to stop terrorists unwilling to turn around and walk one block to an unmanned entrance, the MTA has a much-maligned If you see something, say something program, deputizing us all. So, how's that working?

Last night, riding the Q train home after a show, I saw an open seat on the train but there was a bag on it. I started with the usual passive-aggressive maneuver—moving towards the seat and staring at the bag's likely owner. She didn't flinch, so I had to go to the more aggressive request that she remove the bag. But it wasn't hers. And the guy who was sitting in the perpendicular row of seats also disclaimed ownership. So I tucked the "bomb?" under the seat and we rode on.

While we're on the subject of unenforced safety rules, I'd like to welcome back the age of public urination in New York. Last week I saw a guy slide behind a beam at the W.4th Street station relieve himself around 6PM, well before he had a chance to get himself drunk enough to make it even halfway acceptable. This past Tuesday, on E.4th St., a guy took a break from cashing in his cans at the Avenue A Key Food and hid between two cars to pee. Well, he "hid" to the extent that "flagrantly exposing himself to the women in the Go Girl nail salon (and me)" counts as "hiding." One more and we've got a trend.