Stay Free! Daily

My New Favorite Thing: The “Blog” of “Unneccessary” Quotation Marks

I was just walking by a sign yesterday thinking, "there has to be a site that collects all these instances of mis-used quotation marks." It only took one day to stumble on it accidentally.

The more you look at the site, the more your sarcastic inner-reader voice emerges, and the funnier they become.

LOVE IT

History Is Coming Soon!

Death Made Delicious

This bakery in Oakland, Calf., was recently shut down:

The Black Muslim Bakery: Now more hereafter than ever!

Thanks, Frank!

The new Apple Potato®

Miss Manners Goes Modern

Etiquette experts are scrambling to keep up with the technological advances that create new challenges to our pre-existing system of manners. Last night, for example, I received my first wrong-number text message. What was the proper thing to do? Ignore it? Write back and politely inform the sender of the error? I am only allotted a certain number of text messages per month; does this factor into my decision? If I pay for each message received, am I entitled to compensation?

I read the mystery message again. "Wanna do dodgeball Saturday nite?"

I carefully considered all the options, and sent my reply: "Nah, I think it's time we both grow up a little."

Very Proffessional

23rd & 8th, NYC

The Official Whiny Blog Post of New York

I heard a radio commercial this morning that concluded with, "That's why, in our opinion, Subaru is the official car of New York." Corporations routinely pay huge sums to be recognized as the official so-and-so of whatever. A very quick Web search of the New York Yankees finds they have an official airline; an official athletic apparel and footwear company; an official printer, copier, and SLR camera provider; an official amino-acid sports supplement drink; and the list goes on and on. But apparently Subaru believes if you toss in an IMHO, you can circumvent those pesky contracts and fees.

Now, you might be thinking, "Jack, lighten up, you take commercials too seriously and as a result seem humorless." Hey, I'd let it slide if it was totally innocuous like "the official super-fun vacation getaway of summer!" But New York City actually has a rapidly growing number of official designations, from an official flag and an official journal, to more modern products. So I just think Subaru should keep their eyes on their rearview mirror—New York City's legal eagles may soon be after you. As for me, I'm still working on the paperwork to become the official so-and-so of whatever.

The Last Straw

I've now seen this in a few places, and I'm wondering if it's a trend: You're standing at the counter of an informal restaurant. There's a container of paper-wrapped straws on the counter. Next to that, there's now a paper cup or some other small depository. And I believe we're supposed to place our used straw wrappers in this holder.

Now, my first thought was, how lazy have we become as a society that we need a special tiny little trashcan for our straw wrappers? Is carrying the wrapper the 3 or 4 feet to the normal garbage can such a huge burden? Is there some eco-issue I wasn't aware of, in which seagulls are choking to death on improperly-disposed-of straw wrappers?

But my second thought was, hmmm, oftentimes when I'm emptying out my pockets at the end of the day, I will discover a straw wrapper. Even if I'm positive that I threw it away, nope, it's still at the bottom my pocket. So, I don't know, maybe this is society evolving just a little bit.

.Com As You Are

I don't know about you, but when I've had enough of the media criticism, the bashing of consumer culture, and the glorification of Brooklyn, I turn to the kinder, gentler Stay Free blog.

American Woman

The caption next to this photo from The Sun was

MISS USA 2007 Rachel Smit parades [her nipple] during the Miss Universe's native dress fashion show in Mexico City.

I may have added the bracketed phrase.

In any event, America's native dress is apparently Vegas-tacky and really, really slutty. Well done, Miss USA!